Voiceless
by Wicked Daphne
Summary: When she went under, the world was at peace. She wakes up, they say world is at war — they didn't say what she will lose. I own nothing. Loki/Bella
1. Chapter 1

**Voiceless**

 **BPOV**

Somber mist sprawled tentacles. Sole caress of gloom reached for me. There was no point of trying to escape foe so mighty. Though my senses remained intact despite attempts of a guard of highest rank, I was still what they weren't for centuries.

A mortal.

A woman, yet to most of inbound faces, a child. The truth is, I am young, but I am an adult or I was in the world which few years prior was the only one I knew existed. Now in this inevitable collision, I found myself wishing I was truly the child everyone took me for. The child cries when hungry or wishes to sleep, drools and you are happy when burps. The child cries to get attention and I wish my cries would be just as useful as to the child. Even if there was someone who could hear me, I couldn't be saved. So I wish I was an infant, they don't understand what fear is.

„Isabella…" Skin of chalk, black flowing hair and those horrifying eyes eating my soul out. I never imagined death to take his form as I expected it from hand striking me for revenge. Neither did I imagine upon seeing him again that the strength of the compulsion to touch his skin and verify it is smooth and cold, would be great as the day I met him.

„Bella." Where my courage to remind him I preferred the shorter version of my name came from, I had no idea. The single thought of someone as old and powerful as him ubiquitously halted me. „I prefer Bella." Particles of my mind must be impatient to die then, if I dare to not only speak, but correct the powerful creature before me.

„Bella…" He purred and advanced on me. I closed my eyes, certain my life will end now.

I expected brief agony and end, but he wasn't after me neck. The monster before me grasped my hand almost gently and I stopped breathing. I opened my eyes and blinked tears away. He had my hand wrapped in his both, wrinkles flawed his forehead in deep concentration. He couldn't enter my mind and I realized that might be the only reason why my heart continues to pump blood. I piqued his interest with something I had no control over.

„I see nothing."

I've never heard any declarative sentence sounding so much as a death sentence. The story of my pathetic mortal life was about to get the ending and I no longer had a clue if that was something to fear or something to embrace as an old friend. I've been running for months and I am tired. I want all of this to end, but I don't cease to hope I'll live just a while longer, although I have nothing and no one to live for.

Love for perfect, immortal creature I knew as Edward brought ruin for a feature known as mortality. Edward left me and I lived on, but furious rider of death arrived and painted my walls red. Victoria killed Charlie and Renee for what I was aware of. I left Forks after the funeral and ran since.

„What will you do to me?" I asked only to get sly smile in return. „Why are you here?"

It couldn't be a coincidence they appeared in the middle of same desert I took refuge in. I assumed someone was playing my shadow for months, but my eye was too slow to catch glimpse of my stalker or stalkers, I assume there was more of them.

"Maintaining our secret has never been more imperative."

I bit my tongue, there was no point of telling him I won't share their secrets with the rest of the world. He knew that and therefore came to trade loyalty to him in exchange for preserving my life. Death was better option when what he truly offered was a place on the chessboard where he can use and sacrifice me as any other meaningless pawn.

If man like him wanted to preserve the security of order, I was the least of his worries. I was small, meaningless and mortal. Me telling another soul of his world would get me locked in an asylum in the best case, yet he wanted to control me. Merge me to his side or have me kneel before him, he wanted to rule me.

„What will happen to me if I refuse to join?" I walked with head on neck after refusing him the first time. The chance of doing the same was slim, my curiosity on the other hand was thick.

„Do you not acknowledge the opportunity you have, Bella?"

No. That was my silent answer. I saw nothing, but monstrosity and slaughter. He has great ambition, but limited self-control. My refusal would upset him and surprise, possibly infuriate him to reach for my neck and break it.

„What will happen to me?" I insisted.

The answer was not something to bring me joy, but I wanted to hear the truth. I might be sadist to want to know how he plans to kill me, but I want to be ready for it, if that makes any sense. I'm not keen on suffering, gods know I had enough of it for one lifetime.

I lived longer than I expected to survive while running from Victoria. I remember the first days out of Forks when I thought every tomorrow is my last. My mind tortured me with happy memories back then. I was also imagining how my life would turn to be if Edward stayed with me. A desired infinity with him vanished and immortality nauseated me. How could I, who can not bear the sight of blood during my human days, ever get used to drinking it to keep me strong? I know circumstances would be different, but it was still alienating.

„Pain will change your mind quickly, you are after all breakable." Torture. I can imagine they have patience for that, but I will be dead by the time first drop of my blood drips to the floor. „You will become numb to it eventually, then the worst will come."

„You will wish for something as sweet as pain."

* * *

 **Should I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

No-one can not hear snow falling or touching the ground, in contrast, I can hear Snow King coming. Although he moves gracefully, almost as if he is floating, I've been locked long enough to discern his steps from steps of others. He came alone which was rare and I had nothing against if his private visits became even more scarce. Out of every living and dead creature I've ever encountered, he was the one I was utterly alarmed by.

"You are all but ensuring your own destruction."

Sadistic smile of Caius, was something I could explain in details if I knew how particular muscles were named. He was a tyrant and down in the dungeons to mock me. Often accompanied by Aro, I got to witness the occasional willingness to argue against Aro whenever he disagrees with his decisions. Ultimately subservient to his superior's wishes, is what keeps me out of harm's way, but even Aro will have to give up on me at one point. I was plain and useless.

"You think I am foolish..." My throat was sore. "When all I want is to never be like you."

Caius didn't ask for further declaration, his hand striking me down, did. There was only one thing providing me solace, it still hurt. The dungeons of Volterra hosted me for months, but I haven't reached a stage when I am numb to pain. I crossed the line, brining up a matter that has him emotionally bound to Aro. Under the influence of Chelsea, he is kept from attempting to dethrone Aro. He is a puppet.

"You know too much, you are liability."

What I knew were bread crumbs in the bakery. Yes, I knew of vampirism, but so little and I knew even less of the Volturi. The knowledge I now have of them was accumulated during my time in imprisonment. It was demented, but I didn't even blame Caius for his actions. He was bored and I, a very easy target. When he isn't hurting me, he shares tales of what are in his eyes wonderful schemes for slaughter. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, he advocates for the most aggressive methods of handling situations, and is usually in favor of executions.

"Then why not kill me already and be done with it?"

It was out of character to think before striking me. Why did he decide to save kill for later rather than killing me where I stood? I considered him the cruelest out of three brothers, cries I heard during the stay confirmed he doesn't extend mercy to many. He is always the head of punitive missions, enjoys executions and abuses power. I wanted everything to go away, that is why he didn't kill me. By killing me, I would be shown mercy he doesn't want to grant me.

"Pathetic, disgraceful. Begging for death?"

"What else is there for me?"

Snow King laughed. Loud as thunder bolting through peaceful sky. His chortle provoked me to join and laugh at my miserable fate. I surprised him. Caius tensed, but then laughed in instant of total happiness. Grinning, he entered my cell and bent down by my side. I was sprawled on the floor since he struck me. I looked in his eyes to predict his intention. His eyes when satiated dark red, though cloudy or milky. That wasn't the case today, his eyes were coal.

"There is life."

His whisper was gentle. I crawled closer to him and sat up on my knees, no words were needed for me to know his exact wish. While bending my neck on side, he was already leaning in. It hurt , his venom spreading through my veins while he drank my blood. As if I wouldn't scream in agony, Caius reminded me to scream so every vampire can hear he is hurting me.

* * *

"Caius, surely you see the potential. I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

Aro brought Jane and Alec down to the dungeon with him today. Caius had been already with me, he just finished feeding. I lost my count on days like I lost on weight, I also assume that at one point I lost my mind. My body was covered in scars, prints of Caius' fangs, but for obeying him and willingly offering my neck, I was given food and water. Cruel tyrant was my only connection to the outside world and what he told was detailed truth. I asked questions my heart didn't want answered, but my mind needed them.

"I will never be your puppet." My position shouldn't allow my voice to hold arrogance, but it did. It was shown especially when I let my eyes roam from one vampire around Aro to other. "There are no strings on me."

One of my tragic flaws reached surface, I have a lack of self-knowledge. I was strong on words because I had plenty time to think when in reality, I was still exceptionally clumsy, dropping and tripping over everything in sight, I was most fragile human in the world. Jane's glare, though not creationing ilussion of pain, ilustrated hartred and envy. She likes being Aro's pet, my death would benefit her. I understand frustration, I understand what she is like and I don't ask for understanding to be returned.

"Master?"

"You're dismissed." Jane and Alec bowed and left. "So much to discuss. So much to decide." He paced up and down. "What happened with Cullen boy and yourself?" Aro was obsessed with Edward and Alice.

"Are you a liar, Aro?" I asked.

"Why, dear Bella..." He seemed uneasy, draging with an answer. "Yes." Truth was forced from his lips, he was fighting with himself.

"So was he, along with being a coward, something you can also relate to."

I knew the pieces of the puzzle known as Aro. He was complex, layer upon layer. Without the rest of Volturi he would be a nobody and I pitied him. No-one really shared his vision of order, he was surrounded by many, but alone in thought of dominating. I had no compassion for him, I hated him and because of it I hated myself. He was fascinated by my 'gift' and I hated how this thing about me brought the trouble I couldn't outrun.

"I hope you don't mind, we brought you company." It was easier to ignore my previous words than to face with them, so he changed the subject. "Old friend from Forks."

* * *

 **The story is just starting and pieces you get to see in first few chapters are important for future of Bella's character. In next chapter there probably won't be Loki yet, but he will emerge soon.**

 **Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"Enjoying your meal?" Jane surely wasn't asking this to make small conversation so I swallowed before she continued. "That is Mike's liver."

My stomach turned, but despite how incredibly disgusting the thought of eating parts of somebody I knew, was, I was still hungry. The Volturi seemed to forget that I am a human with need to be fed every few hours rather than days so every opportunity to eat was god's gift. The meat had strange taste from the start, but I wasn't picky these days. It was Mike's liver as Jane said and that was disturbing, but I couldn't help Mike as he was killed yesterday. I could barely help myself.

"It is wonderful, cooked properly... Can I have more?" I pushed my empty plate back to Jane who snorted and left.

Jane returned after a week and I got what I asked for. She brought Angela's heart. People who had even the slightest connection to me were brought from Forks to Volterra, where they were thrown in dungeons. After a few months it was easier to count who was left than those who were often killed before my eyes. Their lives ended in similar fashion, first Volturi would eat them and then I would.

"In truth young Bella immortality would become you most extraordinarily. It is as if you are designed for this life. A survivor!"

"The answer is still no." I felt stupid repeating same thing over and over, if only Aro would give up already. "Why am I important to you?"

"You have a unique gift, my dear. You resist our gifts and your bond to Cullen clan is most useful. I could use you as a bait to lure Edward here, Alice even. Your Cullens would be mine!" He placed hand over his mouth and did something very alike to giggling, but I could never associate giggling with Aro, it was unbecoming.

"They are not mine."

"Then you will always be their pet." Aro was weird, he behaved as a baby trying to control burping. "Strange... You really are something Isabella Swan. I fear, if I stay, I tell you all of my secrets." Like I had the power to actually make him say anything.

"Like how you killed your sister?" Why did I ask that?

"Exactly." He replied without thinking. "How do you know that?"

"Maybe I got others to tell me their secrets." It was dumb idea to piss Aro of, but I wanted to know more. "Why did you do it?"

"Because she wanted to leave me and drag Marcus with her... Why am I telling you this, little witch?"

Really why? I asked other questions and he would reply instantly. Maybe he was messing with me, giving me truthful answers to make me feel like I have some sort of control over him. So whenever he appeared as if he tried to swallow his answer instead of saying it out loud, I doubted him. His eyes changed the color after a while, at first I thought it was because of growing hunger, but his eyes weren't black. His eyes had strange pulsatory blue dots.

"Stay!" I yelled when he started for the exit. He stopped for a second, but continued walking afterwards. "What will happen once you kill everyone I know?"

"You surprised us, Bella. Surviving for so long... We won't kill you or anyone else after our next guest arrives. It won't be one of mine who ends you, but one of yours. Volturi have loyalty one to another, one I picked is nothing but a mortal."

One of his, that could be member of the Volturi and a vampire, but what one of mine is exactly... I had no idea, one of humans or one of people I knew. For all I knew they could bring Edward and have him kill me, but that made no sense or at least it didn't in the past when he still loved me or was pretending to. Most people I cared about were already dead, only Quileutes remained untouched and if Aro didn't find out about Jacob before, the chances he will bring him now to kill me were slim.

* * *

The number of vampires who descended to the dungeons was almost non existing. Usually Aro or Caius who came, reduced their visits is to avoid my questions or accusations. Caius, one in charge to torture me, now didn't come at all. I remember his last visit and how strange it was, he was shaking his head whole time and his eyes were like Aro's, with blue dots. It was almost as if they didn't dare to come, I became their burden and then... They ripped my tongue out.

"I can't believe this all is about you. Why am I even surprised? It is always about you. All those people died and now I will!"

Are brought Jessica and that was maddening. She was placed in the dungeon across mine and wouldn't shut up. She blamed me for everything and it made sense why Aro chose her. She held loyalty to no one and she won't hesitate to trade her life for mine. Aro wants to show me the downsides of being human, as if I don't know them by now and loyalty is something he has as he bound everyone to him, but I am human and so is Jessica. Jessica who has always been envious of me. If she wants Edward, she can have him.

"That long haired guy, Aaron or something like that, he touched my hand and said few weird things. Hey, do you know... Ah, yes, you don't have a tongue."

I cringed after every word that left her mouth. I just wanted her to shut up! My head hurt because of her and there was pain in my chest. At least for that I knew Jessica wasn't the cause of the pain. I felt it for a while now, as if it was always there, it only got worse after I lost my tongue. I spaced out and meanwhile Jessica stopped talking. Her eyes were glowing blue, what is happening to everybody? Are my eyes blue too or what?

"Miss Stanley, Master Aro will now see you." Felix didn't strike me as polite one.

Felix grabbed Jessica and took her to Aro. Three days later he brought her back and threw her in my cell. He left without looking at me. Only then I noticed healing bitemarks on Jessica's neck and wrists. She was changing to a vampire. The transformation is almost complete and soon she will be a newborn vampire locked in cell with a tasty smelling human. Where her loyalities lies is unimportant now, she will kill me due to uncontrolable hunger.

In a few minutes I will stand no chance and my end will come. Still, after months of surviving pain, starvation, dehydration... I think I deserve to live. I ate parts of my friends to ensure prolonging my life, why would I accept defeat now? A lit candle was on the wall next to cell bars gave me idea. Weak in the knees, I stood up and took it. Then I took off my shirt and set it to fire before throwing it on Jessica. Curled in a corner, I closed my eyes and covered my ears. When I opened my eyes, Aro was standing in her ashes.

"What a happy surprise! Bella is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending... they are so rare."

* * *

 **Reviews= Faster update**

 **Next chapter: you'll finally get a glimpse of Loki.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

"Are you alright, Miss?"

I nodded, but I wasn't convincing anybody. As I said a few times before, I was weak, missing few teeth and had my skin covered with scars. I was that pathetic that I needed to be carried out of the dungeon to aircraft which flew to America immediately. People who freed me from vampires were part of an organisation called S.H.I.E.L.D. Funny thing, freeing me wasn't a part of their mission, it just happened. The agents were in Volterra after the aliens, which sounded ridiculous, but I've seen them.

A creature, grey skinned and with no irises in pearly eyes, dressed like gladiator of ancient Rome, stepped in Jessica's ashes. My eyes were deceiving me, that is what I thought, but after a series of blinking the creature didn't disappear. Two more appeared and begun demolishing the lock of my cell. I wasn't exactly afraid, I was more surprised. I've been locked in bloody dungeon for over year and now this creatures appear out of nowhere probably to kill for fun just mere hours after I killed Jessica to save myself.

"We have doctors on the helicarrier, it's been arranged you get a room and we'll help you recover." There were two female agents and one of them was really trying to help me. "We'll land in a few minutes. You don't have to be afraid... My colleague said your name is Bella, but he also said you didn't talk. Why is that?"

I opened my mouth for her, needless to say she no longer bother to ask questions. We landed as she said after a few minutes and I was put in a wheelchair. While pushing the wheelchair through the halls, the agents halted and watched a procession consisting of several, I suspect agents and a guy dressed in flag around one man dresses in green cape. I wasn't aware it was masquerade, neither did I care of it, pain in my chest was getting worse. Maybe guilt for killing Jessica became psychical.

"Agent Hill!" Guy in spandex called, the woman pushing my wheelchair answered.

"Captain."

"Fury told us about Italy, I believe mission has been carried out."

"Yes, Chitauri destroyed. We found last of them in dungeons with Bella."

"Bella?" He asked and looked at me before offering me his hand to shake which I took. "Steve Rogers, at your service."

First few days, everyone seemed to be at my service. They brought the doctor, checked my background, explained what is going on and gave me room. The first thing I did when I was finally left alone, was that I looked in the mirror. My eyes were blue, they weren't brown with blue dots like Aro's, but blue in general. The only mitigating thing about this occurrence is that my eyes didn't glow blue like Jessica's did. They didn't look strange at all, they were just blue.

I waited to be released, but it didn't happen because my status as victim got updated to possible threat. The creatures I saw before S.H.I.E.L.D. agents slew them, were called the Chitauri. The aliens were brought through a portal from another world lead by a madman who is apparently God who was adopted by the royal family of Asgard. All of this had nothing to do with me, but the Chitauri attacked New York, only New York and the question was raised why they appeared in Italy, in my dungeon to be precise.

The said question had me awake during night, but I knew the second they let me out, I'll be targeted by Volturi or Victoria. I was curious though, why would somebody go through so much trouble just to get to me? The Chitauri could have taken anybody randomly, but they chose me. For the director, Nick Fury that was enough to mark me as a terrorist. Others followed his lead and after a week in their care, the suspicion brought me in front of madman who tried to make the world kneel.

* * *

"It's not that I don't love our little talks, agent Romanoff, it's just... I don't love them." Loki Laufeyson, was just like people described him to me, it was clear from the start.

Loki brought alien army to defeat forced of Earth and failed. Now standing in a cell that was meant to contain someone much dangerous than him, he stood with a smug smile and a bunch of one-liners. I've seen how huge Thor is, but I wasn't afraid of him. On the other hand, I was utterly horrified of trickster god and not because he could break me in half, but because he could make others believe in anything. With Fury already half convinced I formed an alliance with Loki, he could set me up to end me for fun. I was chanting that wasn't the case.

"This is Isabella Swan, though you might know that." Agent Romanoff made Loki reveal his intentions once and now everybody hoped she could do it again.

"Have you replaced me with Thor? Why would I care about the mortal?" He talked about me as he would about dirt on his shoe, this suited me perfectly.

"We hoped you could tell us that." Agent pushed me closer to the glass and kept firm hold of my elbow. "Isabella Swan, born in 1987, divorced parents."

Agent Natasha Romanoff told him everything about me. Apparently I had a file and she memorised it to quote it to him as if I wasn't in the room. Birthday, unsuccessful ballet lessons, my school and hospital records, involvement with people of wrong kind... They were radical, so I wasn't surprised when I realized they knew about vampires. If they didn't know I wouldn't tell them. Volturi ripped out my tongue to ensure their secrets stay hidden and I won't break their rules like careless idiots do.

"Fury continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful! But is there anything interesting about this mewling quim?"

"We found her in a cell in Voltera. She was captured by vampire clan and kept locked for a year and half. Beforehand, her parents were brutally slaughtered by a nomad." I tried to pry my arm from Natasha, but she wouldn't let go. I desperately wanted to cover my ears and ignore what she is saying. When I couldn't, tears started forming. "Was runaway when the Volturi caught her. Since then they either starved her or gave her organs of her killed friends to eat. What makes all of this interesting is that Miss Swan was saved when we tracked down Chitauri who were by the looks of it, searching for her."

"Well, I guess that's worth a look, just not mine." They went back and forth with questions, I just prayed it would be enough and we'll finish soon, my chest hurt and I wanted to go back to the room I was given.." Do you even speak, dear?" I saw how he looked at me, I wasn't worth his time.

"One of Volturi kings ripped out her tongue." Natasha answered for me.

"Then it must be really hard to whipe dripping ledger." I was convinced he will set me up. "I'll tell you what you wish to know, the girl has no alliance with me." I was relieved when he said that, but then I heard his voice in my head.

 _'Yet_.'

* * *

 **So there you have it, first look on Loki! Now I'm not sure when next update will be because I'm travelling to London for a week. But review and you might get surprised.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

A cancer patient is given a room in a hospital, while a madman is given one in an asylum. I was neither of those so I was given a cell. It wasn't actually the cell, but the room I stayed in reminded me of one. No windows, no clocks and all white. Basically, I was transferred from one group of assholes to another. I would say I was slowly losing my mind, but there was nothing much to lose. After all, I did eat human parts and killed one of mine to save my pathetic mortal-self.

"Director Fury ordered us to bring you to the interrogation room. Someone is here to see you." Said a male voice through still locked doors.

When the doors opened, I was already standing by them. The agents were unfamiliar, I didn't see them before and the chance I will see them again is slim. For the first few days in S.H.I.E.L.D., Maria Hill was usually sent to fetch me, but I broke her. Not quite sure how, I was just curious how she got to a position of a Deputy Director when my chest tightened and she started telling me her life story which left me flabbergasted. Since then the agents are different every day and at most of the time they have their heads lowered.

Fear is appalling and the agents are wary. A terrorist like me presents a great threat, I can understand that. I truly do understand why they are so careful with me, but I want to be done with it because I am or at least should be more afraid of them more than they are of me. I am disposable and replaceable, only wanted by those who want me dead. The death might be the answer, but I wanted to live. Not eternally, certainly not forever as I am voiceless. Living is hard, eating is a challenge as I eat through a straw savouring the taste of nothingness.

"Miss Swan" Agent Romanoff was no exception, her head was down while instructing me what to do, somehow I expected more of her. "We will send your visitors in shortly."

 _Who is here?_ I wondered. She looked at me briefly, but it was enough for me to see glowing blue in her eyes.

"Director Fury demanded the presence of the Cullen clan." I didn't know if she intended to say that or if my thoughts caused her to speak out. Instead of trying my luck, I just entered the interrogation room.

A two way mirror hung from the wall and I already knew Fury was on the other side ready for the show. There was also a table with chairs around it, but I didn't sit down. I had no intention of talking to any of them, not that I could talk when all I can say are vowels. An effortless remembrance of them, brought rage and hatred to my heart. I never knew I could hate somebody immensely, now those I loved are the ones I despise more than the Volturi.

"Bella." That was Edward and behind him followed Alice. "Thank God! You're safe!" Arms of icicles wrapped around me. My stomach turned and I had to swallow my vomit.

"Mister Cullen" Agent Romanoff called. "We agreed you will hold your distance or we will remove you."

 _Please do. Burn him._

"Mister Cullen, I warn you. The fire extinguisher is few corridors away." Thankfully, he listened Agent Romanoff and removed his arms from me.

"I apologize."

I looked at them, glared. For the first time since I knew Edward, I wished he could hear my mind. In past I was thankful he couldn't because I thought my thoughts are embarrassing, but without the tongue, I couldn't compose a sentence in which I would curse their existence. I also wanted him to know that he couldn't protect me from becoming a monster. I wanted him to know I killed when I could have opted not to. I wanted him to know of monstrosity, but I imagined it in a way that didn't portray me as a victim, but as someone who enjoyed eating kidneys of my friends with fries and ketchup.

"Bella?" Edward choked. "Is that you?"

"Edward?" Alice's voice made me cringe. "Is everything all right?"

"I thought I heard her mind." Interesting. You just heard, but now you will see and suffer.

 _Surprising isn't it?_ His face was priceless. _You left me to die, but it didn't work. What-..?_

"I didn't leave you to die. I thought you were safe." He tried to defend himself, but I didn't even start with accusations.

 _Don't lie to me!_ My mind yelled. _And don't ever interrupt me again or you will really need the fire extinguisher. Is that understood?_

"Yes."

"Edward, what is happening?" Alice asked.

"I can read her mind."

 _Lie._ I ordered, the blue dots appeared in his eyes.

"She is in shock."

 _Lie better._

"She said she misses us."

 _That is better._

I had him wrapped around my little finger. Edward couldn't say anything I didn't allow him to say. I had power over him, control and that was empowering. I saw the struggle in his eyes and enjoyed seeing he was the weak one now. I showed him the nauseating memory of how I found Charlie tied up to a kitchen wall with his bowels and bodies Renee and Phil torn to pieces and scattered around the house. Their eye sockets filled with fingers Victoria ripped from their hands.

I had him see what was done to me and he told Alice what he allegedly sees, embellished lies. My suffering was reserved only for him and I wished for him to get reminded of it in every day for eternity. As I was taken away my tongue, I took away his ability to speak of what really happened in Voltera. My cruelty had no limit for the monster before me so I took off my shirt and showed what Volturi did in me, I reminded him of the pain the vampire venom causes.

"Please, forgive me." He begged. "I still love you."

 _I'm glad, because you know then that your love destroyed me._

My chest hurt worse than ever before and Edward slipped from my control. I didn't understand how exactly I was able doing it in first place so I assumed I had a gift, something like Jane or Alec who shown theirs during human years. I covered my nose and mouth with hand and tried to stand still, I no longer wished to watch their betraying faces. I waited, feeling my lungs struggling. Two vampires and one super agent in the room and yet no-one noticed it was a while since I breathed in.

"Director, she is suffocating..."

My shoulders were now violently shaking. Edward and Alice couldn't reach me. The fools could only go backwards, but they kept colliding with the invisible walls. I pressed my hand harder over my mouth and nose, my strength was leaving me so I knew it won't be for too long now. I didn't want to kill myself, just pass out so S.H.I.E.L.D. never gets the idea of bringing them again. Of course, I couldn't have it easy and agent Romanoff rammed into me which knocked me down and forced me to breathe in.

 _"You will wish for something as sweet as pain."_ Caius' words rang in my ears.

I soon realized nothing hurt, not even my back from the fall. Sounds which should represent something related to laughing left my throat. I writhed on the floor until tears came, as promised pain changed me. I no longer felt pain and that was horrifying as that was the last thing that made me human. Only monsters are unable to feel it, they are unbreakable due to it. I stayed on the floor until someone in or out of the room noticed my chest turning blue. I was then rushed to the hospital wing for examination.

"Something is in her chest. "Said Bruce Banner looking at my body scans. "If you ask me, it looks like a stone."

* * *

 **Yeah, no Loki in this... But if you review new chapter will be updated in day or two.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

"Thanos."

When I first heard Thor say that name, I had no idea what it stands for. Now I do, but I wish I had never asked. He is known as Mad Titan and that is enough for me to pee in pants, but it gets worse. The powerful cosmic warlord is a ruler over a distant region of space and has command over a massive army of those ugly aliens that appeared in Volterra. His main objective is to obtain the Infinity Stones, he won't stop until he has them all and with my luck, I have one of those in my chest.

 **Why can't this stone be just given to him?** I was given a voice by typing on a tablet and while I could communicate with them, the computerized voice was not doing much to gain anyone's sympathy.

"Lady Isabella, I am truly sorry. I know this situation sadness you, but these people are innocent, if we give the stone to Thanos, he will destroy everything." Said Thor.

 **But he will come after me.**

"He seeks the power of the stones in his wish to court Death so he will come, but we will do everything in our power so he doesn't get hold of it."

 **None of you will try to save me, but the stone.**

"The stone has great power, kid. Have some understanding." Tony Stark shouldn't be breathing. I considered making him suffocate, but this wasn't the right moment for it."

 **Take it out and give it to him!**

"We cannot risk safety of an entire galaxy for one person." Director Fury was very clear, with his arrival the discussion ended and I was taken back to the cell.

At least now it is known why Chitauri were in Italy and I'm not a terrorist, now, I am a sacrificial lamb. Those petty and tiny people who hid from my gaze now think they can prevent Thanos from ripping my chest open to take what he wants. When that happens, I'll die. They cannot save me, Thanos will come for me. After everything, they refuse to save me. Wouldn't it be easier to take it out of me and let me go? I am useless without it and Thanos would have no reason to look for me.

Even if I ran from those assholes who locked me, I would be on my own and it would be even easier for Thanos to get to me. Unfortunately, that is where my plan stops. What I needed is someone willing to take the stone out of me or someone stronger than Thanos to protect me. According to Thor, there aren't many people equal in power to Thanos so I had to give up on that and think of something that was possible. Eventually, I realized I had to change the way of thinking. There is no one I know who is stronger of Thanos, yet.

"Miss Swan, I brought you dinner."

I was lying on the floor, my back turned to the doors. There was only one agent, I knew because I heard the steps and that was all I needed to know to put my plan in motion. The food they brought was usually pushed through small opening on the doors which reminded me on the pet doors and I smeared some of my blood by it. Lots of it actually, I had to bite myself because there was nothing in the room with which I could hurt myself. That caught the attention of the agent and foolishly he unlocked the doors to check on me.

 **You will leave the doors unlocked.** It was that easy.

"I'll bring something to clean all this blood."

The agent left me with the doors slightly ajar. Now when I was no longer considered a direct threat, the agents didn't change as often. The same people were before my cell and down the corridor every other day. I already subjugated their minds to ignore my presence while passing by and I had one of those hired to mess with cameras so what is seen in the control room was recorded two days ago. I've thought of every detail and that successfully brought me before the cell in which God of Mischief was contained.

"I was starting to think you will never come." I glared. "But I like this. Your world in the balance, and you come bargain for one person. Yourself."

I didn't like this, how he knew I will come from the start. Loki probably knew what I was, but he waited for me to come to him which I did. I was annoyed by the fact, but there was no point of showing him. I came to bargain for my life, but firstly I needed to make sure he is the man I need for prolonging my life expectancy. I opened the cell, but he wasn't like normal prisoners who just waited for the opportunity to run. Why would he run when his captivity will bring him exactly where he wants to be? I entered the cell and offered him my hand, I needed him to take it so we could communicate.I couldn't exactly subjugate a god to my will.

 ** _I need your help._**

"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?" I wanted to punch him, but I almost broke my hand while punching a werewolf so I rather didn't try the same with the god.

 ** _I am desperate, but so are you. Hiding from inevitable. Thanos will come for you, especially now when you failed him._**

"Courting Death is tiring, you'll have to agree. It could be thousand of years before he remembers me and then, he will firstly look for what Chitauri failed to bring him. You." How could someone remain so smug after everything is fascinating.

 ** _But he will come._**

"That he will. What do you suggest we do then, Isabella?"

To avoid Thanos for a while Loki found it practical to get defeated and caught. He will spend his captivity for crimes against the Earth in Asgard, the heart of Nine Realms. It is a safe place for the bitch to be, though I suspect he has some other motives as I don't think a man like him would give up on the throne. I thought copying his way of self-preservation could work for me, too. But I wanted more than that, once in Asgard I could be locked up just like I am here so what I truly need is an ally.

 **I propose a bargain.** I looked him in the eye, I wanted to appear as his equal. **I'll get in Asgard and once there I will be safe, but I trust Thor no more than I trust you... And he is an idiot. I want to form an alliance between us, one that will keep me alive. In exchange for it, I offer you the stone.**

Now I could only hope he believed me. I didn't lie, I couldn't lie to the God of Lies. Giving him one of the Infinity Stones would increase his power, he could pose as a serious threat and that is why I offered, because I need someone powerful as my ally. With the stone he could become the bigger threat that he was now and take the Earth, but why would I care for Earth if the Earth doesn't care for me? When the Earth will be about to blow, you'll be able to find me in Asgard.

"You're a martyr and the martyr you shall be." The Trickster God, the madman and I thought alike and that wasn't comforting fact. His smile was false. I couldn't trust him, I couldn't trust anyone, but... "When do we start?" I trusted his aspiration, his imagined slights.

* * *

 **I'm not giving all answers yet, but they will come.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

Water ran cold. Only hot shower and my strawberry shampoo could calm me down, but I had none of the strawberry shampoo and now, not even warm water to continue doing nothing in the bathroom. I've been in for an hour or more, thinking of everything I knew or better, what I didn't know. The infinity stone wasn't something one mortal could bear and here I was, wondering how it got sewed under my skin in first place. I should be dead, it was clear as day, but my understanding of how to control the beast in my chest was clear as marmalade.

 **Martyrs suffer and meet their ends, I want to survive.**

"You shouldn't bother with definitions, but since you already did... A martyr is often a symbol of leadership, heroism or altruism. A holy leader they respect and follow to-..." I interrupted the rant of madman at this point.

 **Maybe you should have got martyred rather than inviting an army.**

"Maybe I did."

 **You killed eighty people in two days!**

There were several things wrong with me, I accepted that, but I couldn't accept that I couldn't control what I'm about to say in front of somebody quite messed up. I lost my tongue thanks to my stupidity and still haven't learned from my mistake. A god who, I hope didn't wear ridiculous robes as the gods I've met, was merciful with me today. Loki didn't chop my head off though his glare signaled he could, he simply pressed harder on my hand that was already in his. Just pressed, no wrist or fingers broken in the process.

"When was the last time you were selfless Isabella? Denied something you wanted for a better good? Was it when you gave up on love of your life to protect your father? Or when you surrendered to the nomad so your parents would be spared? Or maybe when you joined the ranks of Volturi to save your friends?"

It made sense why he didn't hurt me psychically. Why would he even try to when his words could cut deeper? And I bet it was more entertaining, judging by his smirk it was. Sitting on a bench next to him, I was torn between crying till Sahara flooded or ripping the stone out of my chest and shoving it in Loki's ass for Thanos to pull out. Through our connection he might know of my inner conflict, but until the point when I smiled to spite him, my face remained expressionless.

You deserve worst imaginable death known to the universe.

Life is hard and death is easy and that is why I had a gun under the mattress, just in case. I got it from one of the agents, it wasn't given, but taken and since I've taken it, I put it apart and put it together around fifty times. I pressed the barrel against my temple once, had my finger on the trigger and it just didn't feel right. Granted, I was a coward in two ways, firstly because I wished to pull the trigger and put the end on my miserable existence and secondly, because I didn't.

I was once selfless, it doesn't sound humble but I was at some point. I wished to make my mother happy and I moved to Forks so she could enjoy life with her new husband. In Forks, I tried to make my father happy by being a good girl, cooking meals, doing my homework and staying out of trouble. My selflessness had its limit and the trouble found me. Now I was no better than Loki, catering my needs before everyone else's, ignoring the greater good.

"In the end, we all get what we deserve."

 **That explains why you lack the throne, my King.**

"Is it end then, Isabella?"

I didn't reply as I didn't know how. He was a prisoner and the closest he'll get to the throne in the near future is by being executed by his king's feet. But there was I and my allegiance to him and that was something capable of turning the tables. I looked at him, dared to meet his eyes and all I saw was a plain man. I knew nothing of Aesir, except that he wanted to take over my planet. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't give me much of the info and the things I knew of him were insignificant. Due to lack of knowledge, I couldn't understand the spoilt boy burdened by his own ambition.

 **How do I convince Thor to take me to Asgard?**

"Self-sacrifice. Thor won't need much convincing after you prove him the Earth is vulnerable. He declared himself a protector of this Realm and he will protect it the best way he can before running to his father."

That gave me something to think about. The Earth really is vulnerable, it's assets are mostly mortal soldiers. Hulk can smash all he wants, but that won't be enough to take out Thanos when he comes for me. My anxiety must have shown because Loki's hand tightened around mine. His consolation didn't make me feel any better. Out of everyone I ever knew, the only person who could protect me is a rotten megalomaniac. I didn't want compassion from him, I didn't want anything from him. But I needed him and that was hard to admit.

 **Agent Barton will wake up with a marvelous idea tomorrow. I hope you are ready for your sentence.**

"You shouldn't be rooting for the death penalty." He warned. As if I needed to be reminded of consequences his death will bring. In the past, I wouldn't wish death upon anybody, but times changed and there are few names that pop out when I think of people nobody would miss. But not Loki, my stomach turned and I saw that as a signal to return to my room.

 **I'm not.**

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

* * *

Shiver upon shiver cut my skin. I was burning and bleeding sweat. Lying on the floor only had sway for minute, but hours passed since. I woke from feverish dreams, it was nothing but torment. The faces of my loved ones, blaming me for their deaths and they weren't merciful. All I heard in their words was Loki rubbing salt in my wounds. The infinity stone wasn't making things easier, it was pulsing with blue and agitated. And then there were my scars from Caius' bites itching, which made me scrape my skin to blood.

My condition didn't change in the morning, but I didn't ask for help. There was no one in S.H.I.E.L.D. I could trust, who knows what they would do to me and I couldn't appear hostile now. I was supposed to be selfless and victim, but the problem was that I could explode any second. Instability was with me, from body temperature to my thoughts. Aro's tactics rubbed on me and I recognized my potential for incredible violence. As a leftover from my dreams, I often had metallic flavor in my mouth. It was blood and I salivated for more of it.

 **Agent Barton.** I typed in the tablet when he arrived to take me to the director's office, but that was the last of my decency. When I spoke to him minutes later, I was in his head. **How is Budapest these days?**

"I'm sorry?" Two agents who came with him walked away, leaving him alone with me as we continued walking down the corridor.

 **Remain silent.** I ordered. **You see, that madman, you have locked in here is not the only threat around here. You can smell mad at him, but I wouldn't underestimate him.**

"What do you want?" He whispered.

 **I can tell you that I don't want people kneeling at my feet, but I would rather talk of what you want. Figured yet what to buy your wife and children for Christmas? It is coming up soon.**

Barton pressed me to the wall and pulled my arm up, I pissed him so my plan was going well. He isn't fan of mind control or so I heard. Small peak in Barton's mind showed me what I can use against him and that was his family. The family is always the way to go when you need to bring somebody down, I learned my lesson. Now I knew Barton in more intimate ways and boy, what he wouldn't do to save his family. Deep down I didn't want to be the monster, but I needed to be one.

"If you even think of threatening to hurt them, I will-..."

 **Agent, please. Why would I hurt them when you will?** I didn't understand why my lips curved in a smirk, this shouldn't be satisfying. **How long do you think your family will be safe with you around? You can not protect them, you're nobody.**

"You're no different from him are you? Hitler in the Jew's skin."

 **I suggest you restrain from comparing me to him or I will be the boot to your ant. You are mortal man, minus Big Green and Red Cape, you are all mortal. Do you know what mortals are?** The position of my arm felt unnatural, but nothing hurt even when he pulled my arm higher and sound of bones cracking filled gapes between the sound of loud breathing. **You are greedy, amassing goods and power as if you are the only ones after it. Thanos will come for all of us and your greed will provide no shelter.**

Two agents I set off earlier returned and Barton let go of me. We didn't make it to Fury, I was taken to hospital ward instead due to bone fracture. I left Barton to think, he of course couldn't repeat my words. I was later told by Fury that Barton showed great concern for my safety. Saving lives of innocents had always been his life'smission, according to the director. I didn't question why he then spared agent Romanoff. I was too busy knitting my brows in front of Thor, who had to see me as innocent maiden.

"We can't protect Earth from another invasion." They summed up.

 **Please, you must trust me, I never wanted any of this. I wish I could help, but I don't know how..**

"Lady Swan, as protector of Earth I am grateful for any help you could provide." Just get to point Thor, I'm getting old. "... This tough situation and we need to ask for great favour."

 **I will do anything.** I emphasized.

"I must ask with you to come with me Asgard."

Widely opened mouth seemed like appropriate reaction. It was supposed to be shocked and I played with it. Fear caused all these people to finally make some good decisions. Mind control thing for now was left aside, I wasn't comfortable with power of damn rock in my chest yet to try it on all of them, bloody thing could turn against me. But I was pleased with outcome, though it was a slow process. I agreed of course, but not without biting my lip and trembling fingers.

* * *

It was just another of those nights when I woke in sweat with an appetite for human flesh. I drooled over pillow after dream of Jane Foster. Thanks to Barton breaking my arm we had to wait for my arm to heal before setting off to Realm Eternal and in my prolonged stay I came across Jane. She looked like perfect light dinner, if it wasn't for Thor pining after her I would eat her raw. Those desires were as usual strong after crazy dreams I have, but later they make my stomach turn.

I was shivering due to fever, it never stopped, but became worse and harder to ignore making me stumble on flat ground on my way to the madman. Loki seemed bored when I came to him, but I was not a fool. Soon he will start mocking me and insulting me, which will satisfy his need for entertainment. As always he was sitting on a bench and made no move for the doors when I opened the cell and stepped in. I had a huge smile he must have wanted to slap from my face when I sat next to him and took his hand in mine.

 **Why so serious?**

"Do you not have better things to do at this hour?" He wasn't in the mood.

 **No.** I let his hand go and took off my shirt before gripping at it again. **What does this thing do?** I asked, pointing at my blue chest.

"No one told you?" He sounded disappointed, I think. "You are intelligent girl, Isabella. You must know what it will do to you." Loki placed hand above my heart.

His touch was cold and nice. A strange sound left my mouth when I realized how pleasurable the cold was. I gripped on his palm with my healthy arm, wanting to absorb as much of this delight as possible. I behaved as small kitten who wants to cuddle and he thankfully said nothing same as I said nothing when tips of his fingers turned blue. It lasted for a second, Loki tensed and then it disappeared as if it was never there. My behavior was embarrassing, my red cheeks agreed.

 **It will kill me**. I didn't have a particular emotions connected to this statement.

"Why did you come to me?" There shouldn't be pity in his eyes. The mortals die.

 **Does it matter?**

"No."

Truth is, maybe it did. Loki knew when I offered the stone that he will get it once I die, but why I offered it to the villain instead of leaving it to the good guys? I didn't have reasoning for it. The stone got bored of me as host and wanted out so it set the house on fire. I was shameless in pressing against his cold skin, I hated Loki, but he was useful for my relief from burning up. Again, he didn't say anything, but removed me from the bench to the floor. I was laid down with his cold arms around me. I felt his bare skin touching mine when his upper body clothing disappeared.

"Sleep."

* * *

 **It is still hate.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

With a few days till departure to another planet, Crown Prince of Asgard decided to introduce me to their customs. I can not say I enjoyed hearing his stories much though I smiled and nodded every now and then. Universe be damned when Odin dies, this boy in red cape is not a fit for the king. Thor knew so little of Asgard and I found his ignorance devastating. He was nothing, pretty boy who only knew to gloat of many, many fights in which he fought. It was hard to listen.

"You miserable wretch!" Alice Cullen demanded to see me and once I was brought before her, she started yelling.

"Miss Cullen!"

"You killed him! He went to Wolves, they killed him because of you!"

"Get her out of here."

"Edward is dead. I don't know what you did, but you're going to pay. Victoria built an army, she will come after you, there is no place on Earth you can hide!"

Hulk smashed and she was thrown out. I peeked in her mind, but didn't respond to her accusations. My first love, the beautiful shiny marble man went mad. None of Cullens knew what was going inside his head, but I knew it was torture as I put those horrible images in his head. I didn't play with Alice's mind, my cruel side wanted her sane and aware her end is coming. They deserve more suffering than they'll get. Edward is dead and he deserves it because he killed me.

A week has passed since Alice's visit and in meantime my cast was removed which meant little is left till the final goodbye to the ants. My days in the Avenger's base were bad as usual. The stone didn't give me a break so whenever I had the chance I sneaked in Loki's cell. I spent nights like the one I was having tonight with him. My nightmares were brutal and I was afraid to close my eyes and be dragged in that hell again. I had a feeling that I will get stuck in one of the night's terrors and no matter how afraid of Loki I was, I knew he would wake me up.

"Isabella?"

 **Yeah..?**

"Stop biting my finger."

Don't ask why and don't ask how, but I had Loki's finger in my mouth and I was bitting it, hard. I removed my teeth and apologized, this situation, although embarrassing wasn't alarming. Loki wouldn't let me eat him. We were on the floor again, my half-naked body tangled with his. It wasn't intimacy, but another favour I will have to repay one day. But my mind wasn't on setting debts straight, Asgard was. I will be safe there for a while, but there is zero chance I will fit amongst gods.

 **What is Asgard like?**

"It is filled with liars."

 **How? I thought you were the god of that.**

"That I am, but it is the title I was given." I never asked by whom and had no intention of doing it now. I didn't care for his story.

 **You don't seem concerned with return there.**

Loki ignored me, he did that a lot and I never pushed. Thor didn't say much of Loki, mentioned a genocide and skipped the subject. I didn't ask as I didn't want to know. I was in a room with a serial killer who was at most times perfectly aware what is going in my head. So I didn't want to know what he was capable of. I only wanted his cold touch with ability to prevent my body from lighting up in flames. Human me was frightened, but it was a long time since I turned my back to humanity.

During the night, darkness plays with me and I often hear Aro's laugh or see Jane who brings a plate with raw organs of people I knew. There is Jessica and smell of her burnt hair in my nose. At times I feel so guilty, then angry, maybe even sad, but most permanent is emptiness. I feel nothing about Edward's death and I don't know if he deserved it or not. I want to hate him and the rest of them, but I am worn out and disinterested. All of them will be slaughtered and I still won't be satisfied.

"Look at me." I went to sit up, hissing from lack contact when Loki's grabbed me and shifted me on his naked chest. My face was above his and he had hand in my hair, I couldn't look anywhere else but at him. "Little Lamb, I haven't hurt you, why so frightened?"

 **I am not a lamb.** He knowns what I've been thinking about.

"Answer my question."

 **Why don't you answer mine?** He smiled, laughed even. But much to my terror, his hand slid from my hair to curl around my neck.

"Sometimes you are so easy to control. Like a doll." I pleaded with my eyes. " I won't hurt you."

 **But you could**. I tapped at his hand around my neck. **I can't trust the man titled God of the Lies. I know better.**

"You know the best." He released my neck and I pulled back. Of course he then started mocking me. "Your petty, childish antics..." I didn't listen, but I heard. "You think you know betrayal, grief? You know nothing."

In a room with Loki, a man who has done horrible things for who knows what reason, I felt like the real monster out of two of us. It wasn't fair, at least it shouldn't be, but whenever he opened his mouth my mind would shut down instead of defending me. Was falling in love really as bad as being a total psycho? I know that I lied for the Cullens, did everything they asked just so their secret would remain secret. While love lasted, both sides... Tried to much. It wasn't meant to be.

 **Always eager to prove yourself. Even before me, the mewling quim who doesn't know anything.**

When he earlier forced me to look at him, he didn't know it will backfire. Now he had to look at me. I was, simply put, straddling him. Loki angered me, he did this all the time, but I just wanted some answers. I didn't ask about him, I didn't cross any lines, I just wanted to know what to expect of Asgard. There was no point of allegiance like this one because a dog that barks doesn't bite. I will never understand Loki and I don't want to, luckily I'll never need to.

I wanted to inflict him pain and I knew I could. Not by slapping him or hitting his chest because that would be like hitting a wall. It doesn't even matter what I wanted to do to him when no matter in how much pain he is in, he is unable to change, feel remorse and understand others. At times there are particles of him that show compassion, but he built a fortress with moving bridge around that part of him. Meanwhile, I was breaking down my walls, embracing pulsing blue in my chest.

 **Do you fear death, Loki?**

* * *

Asgard in next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

"Miss Swan, we are ready for you."

Morning came all too soon. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and slept for hours, but it all seemed like seconds. After dressing up, I was lead to breakfast. It wasn't a special occasion, just my last meal on Earth and they gave me scrambled eggs with cheese. It was nowhere as memorable as last supper Jesus had and there was no DA Vinci in sight painting me. I didn't want to think and I didn't want to talk so I left the tablet on the bed. It will be of no use in Asgard and there is nothing left to discuss with mortals.

When it was time to leave, I was ready. Steve and Dr. Banner approached me and escorted me to starting point to Asgard. Being true patriot Steve thanked and praised me for my sacrifice. It was my brilliant idea to get to Asgard and I don't know why I thought it will be so hard to convince them sending me off is what they should do. They couldn't wait to jump on the opportunity to get rid of big threat I represented for the rest of them. It is maybe the thing about humans, they don't have loyalty to their own kind.

"Brilliant Thor, just brilliant. You are foolish enough to bring both the Tesseract and her to Asgard?"

"Lady Swan is coming with me. As time goes, I am growing less convinced that I should bring you back too."

They bickered and bickered... I was invisible in their company, at least to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who saw me as no threat and rather had their eyes on Loki. It seemed that only Loki looked at me, but he was insulting me and no one shut him up. Thor was for some reason, gentle towards him I would say, scolding him like he would a child rather than firmly putting an end to the criminal's nonsense. Agent Romanoff who was annoyed as I was, stopped the march to the promised land and handed me a taser.

"You can't be serious." Loki mocked.

Agent Romanoff thought this is a good idea, I didn't. Staring at the weapon in my sweaty hands, I only thought how Loki will get back at me if I do this. Even if he is to be killed off tomorrow he will find a way, I am positive. The teaser can not hurt him much because he is a god though. God, but also an incredible pain in the ass who continues to throw insults regarding my mortality and calling me incompetent. The Taser felt like a gun in my hand, like one Charlie had.

"The mortal will only hurt herself with it."

I raised the Taser as I looked at Loki, right in the eyes. Chained man was daring me to do it, but expecting I won't. He was wrong and when I pulled the trigger, he fell on his ass from the surprise instead of the pain the high voltage electric shock causes. The agents jumped at him blocking my view and when they moved and pulled him back on his feet, Loki had a muzzle on his mouth. They shut him up and though I wanted to do the same many times myself, it was beyond cruel.

"Hold tightly my hand and grab... Erm, Loki's with another." Thor instructed.

I looked at Loki when I wrapped a hand around his wrist. He had a look in his eyes that told me exactly how much he would like to throw me to the void. I tried not to think of anything, but I was leaving my planet to possibly more hostile one. Every third word that Thor spoke of Asgard was warriors or battles so my anxiety is I feel justified. I closed my eyes when light from the Tesseract embraced us. Distinctly I felt a hand squeezing my wrist harder.

Then we were spinning or at least my head was. I was told the journey wouldn't be long, but it lasted forever. For all that is holy, I swear I opened my eyes and it was darker than with closed eyes. Thor and Loki were gone and I was floating in nothingness. My body burned, wanted to toss the stone out. I felt it move left and right. And there was the odor, it was hard to breathe without suffocation in air reeking worse than peeled corpse.

"How did you get here, girl?" There was no point of turning in darkness when I couldn't perceive from which direction the voice comes.

 **What are you?** I spoke inside my head hoping I'll be heard.

"Who sent you here?"

 **No one.**

"Someone did. Who killed you?"

 **Killed me? I am not dead**. Right?

"Fearless child. Your manners insult me."

Something went through me, it didn't last long, but it felt as if it sat under my skin and then I was falling. My feet touched the ground, I saw golden city and I knew I was in Asgard. Pain. Something I have not had to deal with since Volterra, decided to pay a visit. More severe than all vampire bites, I was put through combined. I was blinking tears away when I noticed my hands were blue. I rolled my sleeves up, met with more blue and burning.

I was in Asgard with Thor and Loki. I was at the safest place imaginable, but that nothingness from seconds ago wasn't part of the journey. And though I admit what happened to me, changed me greatly, I wasn't that mad to imagine the female voice I never heard before. She, if she is even she... Did something to me. I forgot what pain was and look at me now, sprawled on the floor, my muscles twitching, shrieks coming from my throat.

The pain didn't stop for days, in delirium, I vomited blood. All was blur, all but the realization that I can hide all I want, but the real danger is within me.

* * *

 **I didn't mention before, but I am grateful for incredible support this story gets.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

* * *

"She does not belong here in Asgard any more than a goat belongs at a banquet table!" Odin was a very charming man, even more so lovely than Fury.

King of Asgard. Protector of the Nine Realms. The All-Father. He has many names, but I see him as a big headed whiny asshole. The fucker had a certain look in his eyes, even Loki seemed to have more sympathy in his eyes for me than the protector of our universe. Thor defended me, insisted I should stay in Asgard, but others weren't as crazed with the idea. They decided my fate as if I wasn't in the room, but I was standing there numbly just looking around. Doing my best to ignore the glares sent my way.

" I turned my gaze upon you in Midgard, but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that had entered this realm." Heimdall was the first to truly address me.

First and he already threw suspicion on me. Whole Asgard would crucify me for carrying a stone I ran out of inspiration to continue cursing. Thor, who decided to play a knight on a white horse heartily defended me and did everything in his power to ensure my safety in Asgard. Though I would rather have the horse play my advocate, Thor's status as ascender to the throne had some perks. All this happened of course after I got better from whatever happened to me during way up.

When asked, I didn't have much to say so the servants who were forced to learn sign language were useless. I knew what happened, but there was no need for others to know. It was my business not theirs. Asgard didn't grow on me, not after two weeks with healers, not after a month of getting used to the environment and after six months I still felt out of place and was burdened with the possibility that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. I was the lone mortal condemned to be amongst living myths.

My mortality and great power in my chest, were a mere start of our unsettled differences. The stone kept changing me. My skin often developed blue pigments which reminded Aesirs of Frost Giants. For that reason I was frowned upon. My blue glowing eyes and streaks of grey in my hair also weren't helpful. I wished their mean comments didn't hurt the way they did, but it couldn't be helped. Not when they were loudly laughing at me and pointing their fingers at monstrous human.

"Your friends, wolves, are well. No danger lurks." Heimdall didn't necessary warm up to me same as I didn't to him. Still, he was one of more helpful assholes.

"The woman, Victoria went to Volterra seeking assistance. She was refused."

Edge of Bifrost became my favourite place to be at and I found myself drifting to sleep at rainbow bridge more times than in a soft bed. It was beautiful and with Heimdall in the observatory, it was secluded place where I could have my peace. I missed my planet, I missed the Sun under which I grew up, and I missed my parents. Asgard wasn't the place for me, I was lonely and even if I had a tongue it would he useless to me. Thor seemed to like me though.

"Lady Isabella!" Thor noticed me when I was returning to the chambers. "I was about to send for you. Join me for a dinner." It wasn't the first time I dined in his company so I accepted. As usual Lady Sif and three idiots joined the table and talked among themselves. I had plague.

"Your condition seems to worsen." Lady Sif commented.

"It is the opposite." Thor said. "Lady Isabella is getting better." Thor spoke what I told him earlier.

"I don't see much change under that much blue."

"Isabella is feeling better and that is all that matters." Thank you, Thor. Please kill me Thor.

"Cheers to that."

As we raised glasses, my gaze met with Sif's. The great warrior woman wanted to intimidate me, but that was impossible. I saw things, did things which are dreadful. For that reason I now lived without fear and with a big smile when grumbling bitch with sword tried to bring me down. Sif was great warrior, but not a great company. She was jealous of Jane and would roll her eyes whenever Thor spoke of her. I really enjoyed the part when a simple, fragile mortal was preferable to Thor than strong immortal Sif.

"Lady Isabella." Thor took me outside to see the gardens. "I see you're struggling, granted my people aren't the easiest to be around."

You have no idea.

"We hold many grudges and rarely change... But it is possible for us to try."

Sure, and become even worse. I'm convinced.

"When I proposed you to leave Midgard, I've done it rashly. I saw I couldn't protect Midgard from far as my place is in Asgard and there are greater dangers directed at you..."

Oh, do get to the point.

"You think me strange, but have my word. You are under mine protection."

Now behold Thor, son of Odin, god of thunder... He meant it, it is real oath, but what did I have out of it when Thor left to fight Marauders at Vanaheim first and then to battle across Nine Realms. Our one-sided conversation came to an end and I, left alone in the gardens wandered around. The Asgard offered many sights worth admiring, but I had no will for sightseeing so I sat under a tree. It was the apple tree with beautiful fruits. Noticing a fallen fruit in the grass, I picked it up, wiped it in my dress and took a bite. The fruit was sweet, almost too sweet so I reluctantly took another bite. My mistake.

I threw the apple back to grass when my tooth remained in it.

* * *

 **No Loki :(**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

 **Put that glass on your head and walk around.**

 **Stop now and turn around.**

 **Collide in wall.**

 **Dance.**

 **Pretend you're a frog... Jump and croak.**

I was bored to epic level. Asgard had nothing to entertain human and since I am not missed by anyone, I can stay in the given chamber without interruptions. One maid whose name I never cared to remember was here to keep me company, but I turned her into my source of fun. Among strong immortal Aesirs, I found a weakling. This maid, whatever her name was, was under my control. I could do to her whatever I wished to do. She would obey without questioning.

 **Tell me a secret.** I whispered in her mind.

"What would you like to know, my Lady?" She had a sweet voice.

 **Tell me your deepest desire.** I tapped a place next to me on bed. **Sit.**

"I...Um... I would like to know if...Um..."

 **Don't be shy. I won't tell anyone.** Literally.

"I would like to know if Fallen Prince is as good as they say he is."

Now that is kind of fun, I was talking about. Doe eyed innocent maid was better sport than listening mad ramblings about hunting and battles. She is young for the Aesir, beautiful I would say and most important of all inconspicuous which makes it easy for her to get to know things she shouldn't know and hear rumors. I learned about Fallen Prince from her. Until that point I was unaware Thor has a brother and when I learned the brother is Loki, it made perfect sense. But I didn't ask about him since Aesirs completely ignored his existence.

 **Uh oh.** I raised my eyebrow. She made me curious. **You would like to be his slut?**

"N-not slut." She shrieked. "I once overheard one chambermaid talking about him. How he treats his lovers."

 **And..? What did you hear?**

"She said he treats young lovers tenderly as if they are delicate and those with experience... Well, she said by no means tender."

 **How would you like to be treated?**

She blushed and I found her adorable. I saw myself in her, or at least what I was. Crushing on Loki was out of character for somebody gentle as her. She was that delicate kind, one Loki would easily frighten if not careful. Clearly, she was a virgin and had no idea how to respond to a man. I was not one to speak as the marble man seemed to be afraid to kiss me, but she seemed like a helpless romantic. Like Loki would ever be romantic, maybe I was missing something.

"I don't know."

 **Yes, you do.** **You must have imagined him taking you.** I took her hand. **How?**

I already knew everything by the time I asked, but I wanted her to say it. What a colorful mid she had, though delicate she imagined herself being taken roughly by him. Thrown into bed with Loki crawling over her, bent over the dresser, she on her knees before him... She even made me blush. She stayed with me by this point, not even thinking of leaving so I released her from my control. She had her free will and could say and do anything she wanted now. I only kept talking to her in her mind.

"I would like him to touch me first."

 **Where?** I slid my hand up her arm. She got gosepumps.

"M-my chest." I listend what her body told me and moved my hand to her right breast.

 **Where else?**

I never knew I wanted to get with girl and I think neither did her, but that didn't prevent us. We were touching and she remowed her dress so I could touch her more freely, which I did by pinching her nipple. She appericated it, moaned and covered her mouth fast. She looked at me, suddenly aware of what is going on, but didn't stop. I wasn't forcing her to do any of this, I was just playing. She surprised me, my neck with kisses and bites actually.

My green dress was ripped from me, but my barenes was not a problem. Equally naked as I, beautiful servant girl began worshining me as a goddess. Things we did together were beyond our experience when combined, maybe that is why I found my time with her so sweet. She licked me or should I say ate me out before pushing two fingers in my slick heat. I had goofy smlie on my face while she dressed afterwards, still I noticed when she went for door.

 **Loki would enjoy you, Sigyn.**

"That my Lady, he already did."

* * *

Thor returned to Asgard, made a brief stay to charge his batteries and notified Odin of the current state in Nine Realms. Of course, with him back in Asgard, I was much to my dismay forced to leave my chambers and socialize. Goldilocks, as idiotic as he is, managed to notice I won't ever fit among those shallow clowns and took me to finally meet his mother. I got to meet the Queen and when we arrived, she was communicating with the betrayer of Asgard. At least she loves Loki if no one else does.

"Welcome home son." She quickly turned to us.

"Mother" He kissed her cheek. "You know Lady Isabella." I frowned, he was annoying me with my full name more than Odin with his insults.

"Of course." She smiled and I have no idea what to do because buffon didn't tell me anything, so I just bowed down. "There is no need for that." She touched my shoulder. "Bella."

So this is where the shoe pinches. Marvelous. I liked Frigga. It was the love at first sight, okay, that is an exaggeration. She was kind to me and I haven't seen someone showing me even the tiniest bit of something alike to compassion since... Since Loki wrapped his cold arms around me. I didn't like him, hated thinking about him, but now in the presence of Frigga I couldn't help but be reminded of him in every smile she gave me. And what amazed me was her love for him, after everything

"I have to leave you now." Thor left us alone, it was the moment I waited for. As soon as he was out of the door, I grabbed Frigga's hand.

 **I did wonder how did a Frost Giant became a master warlock.** You see, earlier, she was clearly in my head **.** How else would she know I preferred to be called Bella.

"Thor and Odin cast large shadows..."

 **By no means do I ask for you to explain. I don't judge.**

"But you don't like him."

Queen Frigga saw me as a threat and I was exactly that. Turning around, she only now noticed all guards and servants left the room. She frowned and went to pull her hand back, but it didn't move an inch. She couldn't move it because I got in her head like she did earlier to me. I heard of her to be a strong woman, a majestic queen, and perfectly able to stand at Odin's side, she was one of the best of her kind and this blue skinned human managed to posses her.

 **Tell me, besides you, who does?** She was silent. **I used to think he is madman and nothing else, but then I came here. And I won't lie, I made a deal with devil to come here, but you people are just... Unbelievable. And dumb.**

"What are you doing?"

 **I won't hurt you because that would be a treason. I want information and you as the wife of the All-Father are perfect for filling me in.**

"I won't tell you anything."

 **Oh, you will, but get back to your adopted son now. I can wait till Odin falls asleep.**

* * *

Yeah, so this somehow happened. No Loki in this, though I think his presence was certainly felt. How about more reviews for new update with Loki?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

* * *

 **The vault. I want to know what is inside.**

"Whatever Odin thought could bring the universe down is there under lock and key."

Initial resistance from Frigga was put to the end, I trapped the Queen in the amalgam of my will. It is still not easy during the first few minutes when I impose my will on her because she is able to partly defend herself and I can not control her without physical connection. But in the end, vampires, humans, gods... Everything breaks under great power. I am the carrier of stone that will end me and only stone can do it because as the stone eats upon me, I eat upon its power and starve others.

 **I will not ask again.** I stared in Frigga's possessed blue eyes.

"Warlock's eye, Tablet of Life and Time, Eternal Flame..."

 **I don't need the list of toys. I ask for the weapons.**

"Casket of Ancient Winters." That was indeed a weapon, but I am not Loki. "When Thor brought you here, he brought the jewel of Odin's treasure room to us." The Tesseract. "And there is the Infinity Gauntlet."

 **How can I get into?**

"It is protected by Einherjar Guards, you shall not pass."

 **I got in your head, I can handle empty heads under funny helmets.**

Greed is a sin for normal people, maybe it is different for kings or in this case The Protector of Nine Realms. Still, greed is bad and I am greedy and therefore bad, but I am running out of options. The Infinity Gauntlet interested me, but wasn't of much use to me. It was an elegant way to store all stones in one place, but Asgard didn't have all stones which would then give the user ultimate power. Though... If by any chance I collected the other stones then anything would be possible.

"You underestimate us."

 **You underestimate me.**

"As Allfather, Odin had battled great beasts, invaded foreign realms, destroyed demons and monsters, devastated whole worlds, and laid waste to mighty kingdoms..." She hasn't been tamed yet so she rambled and rambled.

 **Admirable. I wrote a song in his honor. It is a lullaby, should I sing it for him before bed?** I mocked for a simple reason; boredom. **Don't worry about anything, my Queen. All you have to do is help me survive.**

"Eat your apples." She snapped at me.

I listened her because I was invited in her chamber for private dinner. When I moved my hand Frigga stared into blank space for a while and then started speaking about her gardens. The great Queen didn't know what she just told me as I made her forget. She was to me like Tyr was to Sif, my sparring partner. I practiced with servants whom I could order around for hours, but it was something else with Frigga. She knew magic and I practiced on her because she was only step lower from Odin.

When I left Frigga, I found my way to Heimdall on newly repaired Bifrost to ask about Victora's progress. I was positive her army of newborns will demolish the Cullen clan and their allies and I had no objections. They will die and Victoria's death will follow because Volturi will then play the police. After all those deaths take place, there only needs to appear somebody to get rid of the Volturi. Rip their tongues out, maybe dismember them and put their heads on shelves as a trophy and of course burn their castle down.

Few days later I woke in my chambers feeling the unusual pull towards something. It was late morning and in a hurry, I put on the dress from yesterday and rushed to the source. I was led to the infirmary and I arrived there just in time to hear Odin and Thor argue about some woman who fell ill. I didn't know if I should go in, but the pull was stronger than me. I nearly ran into Odin, who of course, then insulted my mortality before moving his ass out of the way revealing Jane.

"Lady Isabella." Thor stood before Jane. "You shouldn't be here."

It was expected that Thor will run for Jane as soon as Bifrost was repaired though Odin would rather have his son enjoy what Asgard offers. I had no problem with their love or friendship, whatever they had, but Thor's protective stance had nothing to do with me. I might have lesbian experience with lovely chambermaid, but I won't steal Thor's girlfriend. I stepped closer to them, Jane was laying on table with the same healers that tried to help me around her.

"Lady Bella..." Jane had black eyes. Black in the way that my eyes were blue. "She is dying. We have to help her."

What I could do with the power that flows through those veins... That was my first thought. I started yet again thinking about the Infinity Gauntlet and how with Jane, Tesseract and me there were already three stones which I could own. That was the first thought and then came the second, which prompted me to strike Thor across the face. Thor brought Jane to Asgard because she somehow became a host to stone and he will now do everything to keep her alive. She is in the same position like I am, I too am dying so where is someone to help me?

The guards jumped on me and started pulling me out of the room. I tried to break free from them, but couldn't psychically nor mentally. I was furious, screaming and kicking. My hand reached for the bared skin of the guard's arm and I made him release me and fight with other guard who held me. But one man was not enough and I was seized once again. It was impossible for me to concentrate enough to enter just one man's mind again and there was three of them dragging me away from Jane and Thor down to the cells.

"You will be brought to trial for assault on Prince of Asgard."

I will be on trial for murder of Prince of Asgard. The whole Asgard will burn. Jane will get the royal treatment while I rot in a cell. I can already see Thor betraying the whole kingdom for the sake of that woman and I can't wish upon anything else than to see her corpse. I didn't hate her until now, but now I do and I could kill her to cause grief upon Thor. I was promised protection and look where that got me. In prison with scum collected across Nine Realms and...

"Assault on future king. How exciting. And to think I thought you dead by now. I'm impressed. Do tell more." Loki. "My apologies, I forgot; you can't."

* * *

 **Little bit of Loki never killed anyone.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

* * *

"Odin continues to bring me new friends." Loki enjoyed listening his voice so much that he had to comment on everything.

The Asgard had too many prisoners to begin with and in my first few hours in dungeon, three new groups of prisoners were brought. Beside Loki, who never shut up, there were various other most dangerous enemies of realm contained under the palace. Loki was the loudest, demanding my complete attention, but my interest was on others. I wondered if prisoners are as dangerous to the realm as I was made to believe. Some were utter waste of space, but there were those who could help me burn down Asgard.

Marauders captured on Vanaheim and other ugly creatures weren't suitable for that job, but there was one woman who I knew could be most helpful. Fiery red hair wouldn't reveal much of her identity, but being the only woman beside me in the dungeons and wearing a collar did. She is Lorelei, a sorceress who can use her voice to ensnare the minds of men. I heard of her from Sif when she bragged how she captured her six hundred years ago. Locked since, Lorelei must have plotted revenge thousand times by now so she better stay locked.

"I must admit." Loki opened his mouth again. "I expected a visit from you sooner."

'Fuck you.' I mouthed causing him to laugh.

"I'm not trying to offend you."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm merely expressing my curiosity on the subject that granted you a place here." Of course he is. "You seem to be patient girl and I heard Odin seems to never run out inspiration for insults about your mortality." That is why I possesed his wife. "... So whatever that Oaf did, must have been the straw that broke the camel."

'Jane.' My position was humiliating.

"The oaf brought the woman here?"

I nodded.

"Odin must be ecstatic." I sniggered. Loki was also entertained. "Now why would he bring her here?"

Loki was an intelligent man, but I already knew that. Now when I was not even remotely threatened by him, I got to enjoy his genius. I was mouthing one or two words at most, and he would figure what is going on. From that I got the realization that his mind works differently, he expects the worst of everyone, something I have yet to learn how to appreciate. My reply to him was me tapping my chest over the concealed stone.

"Infinity Stone?" I saw him confused for the first time.

'Yes.'

"Are you telling me Thor's woman found the stone and..." And what? "Yes, you are."

The rest was a piece of cake for him to figure. Thor, Jane and stone equals to disaster. The stone found host in Jane and we all know how mortals react to it. Sweet little death is the answer and Jane is deteriorating quickly. When I saw her in the infirmary, I was sure she will pass out. Loki laughed like a maniac I know he is. He mocked me, saying that maybe if I tried to make Thor fall for me then maybe I would now be in line for saving. He was sure that Jane will get more than usual thundering orgasms from Thor this time.

"All this has a certain appeal, but how are you still alive?"

The question was in place. I mean, I saw Jane and she looked half dead. I don't know when she found the stone, but I don't think Thor waited to long before bringing her here. The stone in my chest decided to kill me off months ago, but now it mostly behaved and worked for me rather than working against me. I had blue eyes and that was all so... My reply to him was nonexistent because we were interrupted by an explosion from few cells away.

It was the cell with the Marauders and now it was destroyed. Ugly horned giant beast smashed his way out, struck down Einherjar guards and let loose the rest of the imprisoned Marauders. Here I thought the cells were impenetrable and that ugly beast was breaking them down one by one. I was waiting to be freed, anticipating it with a big smile. I looked at Loki in the cell across mine when the horned beast finally draw closer. Loki challenged it with stare and won.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left."

I raised my eyebrow. Did that thing really think of Loki to be so dangerous to better be left locked? Apparently, yes. And it decided the same about me. Part of me was flattered, but I really wanted out of the cell. Maybe catch one of the Marauders and use him as my voice. Left in a dungeon with Loki, I could only continue to listen his whining accompanied by the sound of fighting coming from upstairs. My position wasn't even as bad when I thought about it. Everyone forgot about me, I was the safest bitch in in whole Asgard.

"It takes a monster to recognize another."

I certainly did look like one. I behaved as one. S.H.I.E.L.D. took Loki for one and so did I. He killed and used mind control when he was on Earth. I ate the remains of my friends, killed one and used mind control since. I was a monster too, and it didn't even bother me much. It seems I grew or better say upgraded. With stone I could be anything and the first thing I became was someone to be feared. I liked that. I fell in love with the thought.

"What is that smile for?" I heard Loki ask.

'Nothing.' I sat on the floor and leaned back. ' I agree.'

* * *

 **Love it?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

* * *

My mouth was full of saliva and reason for it were feverish dreams. I was caged like mindless beast and beasts starve for flesh. My hunger didn't help the case and I wanted a bite, maybe an ear of one of the guards. Or cooked brain, that is delicious, so foamy. I understood addictions, but to be addicted to human flesh seemed implausible before. Now cannibalism excited me and it is deranged, but then I start thinking; I want to kill few people here and there so why not treat myself with their remains?

"You whimper in your sleep." I couldn't expect 'good morning' from Loki, right? "You did the same back to Midgard... What are your dreams about?"

I shrugged with my shoulders... He doesn't need to know those things.

"You can not lie to me." I can try. "Neither can I to you." Says the god of lies.

Loki seemed deep in thought after that statement and I wasn't complaining. He was rarely silent and I just woke few minutes ago, so it was too early for his usual mockery. When I looked at him, he wasn't himself I would say, he was nine realms away. What happened inside his cell was a mystery to me, I was thankful for not hearing noises of destruction. Putting thoughts about Loki aside, I looked around, counted how many of the prisoners were back to the cells where they belong.

There was no Lorelei. I didn't care about the rest, but I truly wanted her to remain locked. There is not enough place for both of us. I saw myself as a person with the potential for wicked games, but she was plainly dangerous. We were, I would say alike in some aspect. Volturi ripped out my tongue when I made them say and do what they didn't want to and Lorelei uses her voice for similar thing so she got a collar. Whenever she is, I hope she is as far away as possible.

"Lady Swan." I didn't notice incompetent guard approaching my cell. "Trial for your crimes will be held in one week time. Till then our king wants you to think of your actions."

I would do it again, I would kill them all where they stood if I could, but now I only wanted Odin to eat donkey shit.

"I will convey your message to Allfather."

"What message?" Asked Loki.

"I shall say to Allfather to eat donkey shit."

Loki burst out laughing, but he didn't understand. I clapped my hands together like a child who just got a new toy. Stepping closer to him, I gazed into his eyes and started playing little games. It was just a few blinks at first, then bending head to one side, then raising hands up. He had a sword attached to the belt and I made him raise it to his neck. Asgard needs stronger minds if it plans to continue existing. For now I let him go, I had my fun.

"I salute you." The guard turned to Loki. " Future King." That was my final touch.

Power of anger was greater than I ever imagined. It fueled the stone to extend its power out of my cell. I got a guard's mind and I could have twisted it, but it wasn't yet the time for that. I played with an idea to kill off Odin or Thor, but they were unfortunately more useful alive, at least Odin. I only needed to twist his mind like I did with his dear wife, but there was no need to rush. The first thing was getting out of the cell and eating something. Maybe I should have made that guard slice his ear off and give it to me. I would eat it raw.

"They underestimated little Swan again."

Maybe I shouldn't have done anything in front of Loki, my move must have given him plenty ideas, but he will stay in his cell forever and two hells way from me. Or so I thought. It was silent for a while, but then Thor came and broke Loki out. One day, Thor's stupidity is going to end whole universe and beyond. And during their little talk before freeing him, I learnt that Frigga was killed by Dark Elfs protecting Jane Foster. Now little Janey was wanted and Thoroki were in charge of saving her ass. What could go wrong?

"What will happen to her?" Loki asked, looking at me.

"I do not know."

"Do not tell me it hurt when she slapped you."

"Come, Loki."

Loki of course didn't do it right away. He stood before my cell and stared at me with a smile from ear to ear. This will go wrong. Loki is in for something and it is not revenge for somebody killing his adopted mother. I am not a fool like Thor. Loki betrayed Asgard when everyone was in heaven, he will do it again. Especially now when Asgard is going to hell. Thor started pulling him away to urge him to finally move and Loki walked, but not without turning to me once again.

"I'll see you soon, Isabella."

They left and I waited for news. The guards in prison didn't know anything so I was drowning in ignorance. Still in the midst of crazy, I was brought diner. It was something alike to a fish, but it tasted like shit, maybe it was a donkey shit. Next day more prisoners arrived before I was released and taken to chamber I used before. I wasn't given any explanation, but thankfully I was given more food. And having a bath was lovely before one maid came looking for me.

"Allfather will see you now."

* * *

 **School is starting.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

* * *

The maid brought a dress for me and I have to admit, it is beautiful. Beautiful golden dress which unfortunately is too long and is causing me to step on the hem and trip over it. Still, my trip to the throne room went without disaster with me falling down and I was still in one piece. The maid said the dress was a gift from the king, and if it was his idea to kill me by making me trip and fall off Bifrost that obviously won't work out. Whatever he has in store for me, I am ready.

"Lady Isabella."

Seeing Thor almost made me jump out of my skin. I wanted to spit in his face, pull out his hairs and break his neck. He was a hypocrite, promising to help me and doing nothing. If my name was by any chance Jane Foster he would be jumping around me, humping my leg like mindless dog he is. He may saved his loved one from a great foe he found in Malekith the Accursed, who ruled over Dark Elves of Svartalheim, but he will soon face a new enemy. Me and I will make Asgard burn.

"One son who doesn't want the throne, another who wanted it too much. Is this to be my legacy?" Why didn't they discuss this beforehand? Bored and having no respect for Odin or Thor, I yawned and sat on stairs leading to the throne.

" Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Let that be your legacy. "

Huh. I wasn't aware of that part. I was told Jane was saved and the stone protected, but no one said a word about Loki. I guess it was to be expected, Asgard avoided talking about him during his life so why would they spend time on him now? Only best about the dead was not the case here. Small part of me felt bad for him, which surprised me considering Loki did nothing to earn my sympathy. Maybe not nothing, he had his good moments.

 _"_ I can not give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good luck. Even if I could, it could only come from my heart. Go. " Thor offered up his hammer."It is yours, if you are worthy enough to wield it. "

"I shall try to be. Thank you. " Meh, you're not.

Odin's focus shifted from Thor to me, but I had no time for that. I took a bold move and walked to Thor. From what I heard he is leaving to spend his days with mortal Jane and Odin's ass must be boiling now, but I was more for instant actions rather than lasting process. Go to Midgard, watch your mortal die, today, tomorrow or in fifty years, but you are not leaving without me punching your nose. Only then was he permitted to start walking away without turning back. At this point we could all be grinding up puppies behind his back and he would never know.

"What will I do with you?" Odin asked. It was a rhetorical question.

Sitting on his throne like a whore, playing the big boss and yet I saw an old man and a fool. Truly, I was repulsed by Allfather. He treated me poorly because I was mortal. As if I had the choice in choosing my species. It was the thing in Asgard, to look down on mortal as the weak ones among the realms. Partly, I disliked him for actions against Loki. When your emotionally unstable son is hanging off a bridge, you don't tell him he isn't good enough. You pull him up. You can always kill him afterwards.

"I had time to think of suitable punishment..." Say it before you fall asleep. "Recent actions of my son though, pointed to how unfair in nature actions of people in this Realm are." This new. "You are forgiven."

Just like that? He had too much doneky shit.

"As a gesture of goodwill, you will be given new chambers and extended invite to join me for dinner. You are free to leave now."

I nor thanked nor bowed, just turned my back to him. Two maids were assigned to show me where I will be staying and they took me to the room where grass vomited. I was never in this part of the palace and though it was very green I was thankful for seeing more colours than Odin's and Thor's red. It was nice and as more time passed, I found Asgard too becoming nicer. It might have to do with Odin who barely lets me out of his sight or maybe because I was getting better with bending minds.

Odin's change of heart about me was strange, but welcomed change. I was learning more and more of his people which helped me assimilate among them. He could be fun and I laughed, but I never forgot who he was. He told me stories of Asgard victories, praised Thor, ignored Loki, he also spoke of his beloved wife who he missed dearly. I listened carefully, solving puzzles in my head. Something was wrong and before I figure what, I will keep out from entering his mind.

"Victoria's army has set off." Heimdall informed me.

I found myself on Bifrost escorting Sif, who was given the task to return Lorelei back to the dungeon. Lorelei escaped to Midgard and Odin wanted her back where she belongs. Personally, I would kill the bitch, but it wasn't my call and Sif will be a good girl and obey given order. I resent being told what to do, but it does make sense. It might be one of Loki's theories, but it is the truth: Freedom is life's great lie. There can be no true peace with freedom.

 **Did you mourn for Loki?** I wrote on a piece of paper while listening Odin speak, but I didn't show it to him.

* * *

 **Oh my, Loki. Love?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

* * *

A hoax.

That was what my freedom in Asgard was. I am deranged, clearly. Only a crazy person like me would prefer cannibalism, torture, a cage than to live on an invisible leash. I was never alone, guards were everywhere and I just waited for the moment when I'll be forbidden to pee alone. Odin demanded my presence at every turn. He would sit in his throne with council and yet he would ask of me to stay. All this was suspicious, but I had no other choice than sit on the staircase before his throne.

I could go pee by myself, but it seemed Odin couldn't go pee without me. I wasn't there to entertain him and I surely wasn't there to offer any intellectual opinion. He has a very boring life if he calls me to eat every meal with him. To a walk through Frigga's garden where he lectures me about freaky plants or to go to Heimdall and stalk Thor. Odin has his good moments, like when he starts coughing and I pray he'll die of old age, but those precious moments are rare

Living under bell was hard even with my abilities. There was no time for simple pleasure, little mischief as sending servants straight in the wall or making the guards juggle with their funny helmets. Restless dreams suppressed my will to try closing my eyes. I woke periodically every one hour and I always had a feeling that someone is watching me. My discomfort increased when I woke up with snakes in bed, they were rolled around my ankles.

"Lady Isabella." Maid came with my dress for today. "King also expects you to join him for breakfast."

Green, gold and black. I was part of a game without being given rules. Why red communist would encourage me to wear shades of betrayal, was beyond my comprehension. Maybe it was a symbol for something, but it is better if I don't know anything about it. There will be no king wiser than Odin, that is what Thor said, but Thor is idiotic. Odin did offer reason to relieve he has a brain in that thick head of his, but he uses it not so often.

"You can not enter." I was stopped before the doors of the throne room.

"Why?" My escort asked.

"King's orders."

What is happening inside?

"Lady Sif returned from Earth with a prisoner. Return to your chambers now, Allfather will find you later."

Lady Sif returned with prisoner, meaning she brought Lorelei. That was good, but as long as the bitch is put back where she belongs or killed. I had no personal issues with dumb bitch and I heard she only can hunt men so she is in no way any threat to me. It is sad, when her abilities are alike to strumpet spreading her legs. I didn't fear her, but I am now worried what Odin plans to do with her if I am not allowed in the throne room while he deals with her, I was until this point involved in everything.

I sent of my escort before we reached the corridor with my chamber. There I waited a few seconds before starting towards Odin's Vault. I wasn't planing to steal any of relics and overthrow King with it, I was curious what was in there. I was particularly interested in infinity stones. Beside one in my chest there should be more of them in a vault and I heard the Infinity Gauntlet was in the vault too. My mischief was very Loki and I enjoyed every second of it.

Two guards in the vault were out in seconds after they thought snakes enclosed around their necks suffocating them. Poor them, I hope the stone floor is not too hard. In the end, the vault turned out to be a huge disappointment. Things I read about were in it, but all of those were so boring. The infinity gauntlet was displayed, but it had fake stones in it and the real infinity stones were no where in sight. Casket of Ancient Winters was interesting, cold to touch at first, but then that shit burned the tips of my fingers and even worse made me think of Loki.

I wanted to hate him so bad, but instead I developed an understanding. Wicked is good. I had my share of evil creatures in my life, but this megalomaniac helped me. When my blood was boiling, he wrapped me in his cold arms, he helped me fall asleep. And now he is dead and couldn't understand it. He was Loki, he wouldn't put his life in danger, he always has a way out and a way to benefit. Something was off here.

"I see you made yourself comfortable." I guess I should have listened when the guards told me Odin will find me later.

Now I could just watch him draw closer.

"I sent guards in your chambers. When they returned without you, I went there myself and found this."

He shoved me piece of paper with: 'Did you mourn for Loki?'

"How do you explain this?"

The thing is I don't. I shrugged with my shoulders.

"Has Asgard not shown enough mercy for you?"

Well, if you ask. No, it didn't.

If I was a snake, I would now stick my tongue out. But I am not a snake and I don't have a tongue. Sad reality, I couldn't defend myself without entering his thick head and I am not sure that would be a smart thing to do. Who knows what I would see and if I would see anything at all. I opted not to dig a hole and fall into it. So I waited for Allfather to continue rambling and possibly punish me. The sight of him made my head ache and finally pieces of the puzzle I desperately tried to solve were coming into place. Odin was in front of me, across the Casket of Ancient Winters.

"A mortal like yourself needs to learn her place."

Truly, I agreed, but because I knew my place perfectly. My place was back in the dungeon in the cell next to one of false King. I grabbed the King's hand and pressed it against the casket. It turned blue.

 **Loki.**

* * *

 **Loki!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

* * *

"You will tell nobody what you've seen!"

Blue monster before me raged. His red eyes wanted to eat my soul out. Still, I remained calm. Why would I fear one Frost Giant, when Death passed through me and I still stand? I wasn't surprised and I admit that partly I was glad he is here, well and alive, though hiding. I technically couldn't tell anyone what I've just seen, but nor did I want to. What did Asgard do for me to deserve my loyalty? I would still be in the dungeon if Loki didn't take the throne.

Loki continued to yell at me, saying all kinds of horrible things and threaten to kill me in the most horrible ways. Like how he would throw me naked to starved snakes, stick a hot poker up my ass or push me from Bifrost. Loki was furious and aggressive, pushing me against the wall with his hand enclosed around my neck. Was it possible that little insignificant mortal knowing his secret scared him? This couldn't be the case, it wasn't rational conclusion, but then again, nothing was ever rational with Loki.

 **Loki.** I reached for his face.

"Out of my head, you miserable wretch!"

 **Let me go.**

He didn't do it right away, my feet kicked through air before I felt the ground under them. I gasped for air and in a dizzy haze, I leaned into him to keep myself steady. He flinched, but didn't push me away. We stayed that way until I saw only one Loki instead of several, then I looked up to him. His red eyes observed me carefully as I observed his features. Asgard thought of Frost Giants to be ugly creatures, I didn't think Loki was ugly, I can finally say that I learned there is more than meets the eye.

"This is not a place to talk."

I nodded.

"Go to your chamber."

I obeyed him. He stayed back to clean the mess I've done with the guards and said that he'll find me later. I ran back to my chamber, trying to avoid unwanted looks. I would lock the doors and refuse to let anyone in for a week so I could think, but Loki would see that as a sign of hostility. I waited for hours and I was very anxious. I paced up and down the chamber until my feet bleed, then I sat on bed and waited. I drifted to sleep and was later wakened by Loki's shouting.

"What did you do to me?!"

Night fell in Asgard, but thankfully for my weak mortal eyes, the darkness was reduced by lighting candles. Loki was standing in the shadows, hiding from illumination. It was up to me aproach to him, which I did as soon as I rolled out of bed. Only a glimpse of his form was enough to understand why I took him so long to come here. I didn't see him under the facade of Odin or how he normally appeared, he was still blue. Blue and very angry.

 **I don't understand.** I took his arm.

"Your hand does not burn when you touch me." I didn't know it was supposed to. "It is." Ops, I forgot he was in my head just as much as I was in his.

 **I didn't do anything to you. I don't know how.**

"I've seen what you can do, manipulate others minds and body. You've done this to me so Asgard would see me burn. You wanted to see the monster you hate!"

 **I don't hate you.**

The thought came on its own, but it was the truth. I didn't hate him. If I did then I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't spend hours waiting on him so we could talk. I would run to Heimdall or Sif, reveal to whole Asgard that false king fooled them. But I didn't do anything about that. What more proof does he need? Me kneeling before him as a mindless peasant? I wouldn't kneel before him even if I was to suck on his dick. Maybe I should control my thoughts.

 **I never tried to control you. I am not a fool, I'm trying to survive here, not get myself killed.**

"Fix it."

 **I don't know how.**

"You did this to me and you're going to fix it!" I had no chance to ask how, he garbed my hands and pressed it to his face. "Think!"

How can I think with him stopping blood circulation of my hands? His whole being was distracting enough and now his breath was hitting my nose. What could I do? How did I do anything in the first place? I guess I was curious how Frost Giants look like, how Loki looks like when he is not under a facade. But his appearance is not the facade, then again, it is adjustment. I wanted to know more of Loki, what he really is and what he does. Because of that I got burned. His skin burned my hands.

"I'm sorry." Loki said after we spent an hour dipping my hands in icewater.

 **Loki apologizing to me? It must be a holiday.**

"Don't push it."

 **This could become holiday whole universe could celebrate.**

"Isabella."

 **Loki.**

"How are your hands?"

 **Nice and roasted.**

"Very funny." He sighed. "What were you thinking about?"

 **You were in my head, just like you are now, you know.**

"I don't see everything. You learned to hold back, though you remain impulse and few thoughts here and there escape your control." He must be referring to dick sucking. "I am."

 **Not a word.** I warned.

"Undoubtedly, we would find another way you would prefer."

 **I would prefer your dick as sausage in my hot dog**. My face got red while he laughed. It was too beautiful not to join.

"Such a wild woman." He stroked my cheek. "I should go." Yes, he probably should, but I wanted him to stay.

 **Stay.**

"I'm tired, Isabella."

 **Good, so am I.**

"You are inviting me to your bed?" He looked surprised. "Already changed your mind about hot dog?"

 **No, I'm inviting you to your bed. I'm not an idiot, I know this was your chamber before.**

"Nothing can slip by you."

 **Especially not sausage with ketchup.**

He stayed.

* * *

 **I want a hot dog. Anyone else?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

* * *

I woke with sickness. Acid raised up my throat forcing me to run to the bathroom. There was no time for thinking, I threw in the bathtub. I tried to think what I ate to disturb my stomach, but then I realized it wasn't about the food. It was blood. Another alarm of stone ripping me apart. Blood was in my hair and drops it over my dress, but I had to sit down and wait for the dizziness to pass. I thought I was finally getting better. How did I fool myself into that?

"Isabella..?"

Did I care that he will see me like this? I wanted to think no, but it will always be yes. I cared because I didn't want to be seen as weak, though I will always be weaker than any of the gods. I wanted to prove myself, but how could I ever do anything with this useless body? I had my stone and my mind, but one was killing me and my mind wasn't the happiest place. Was I ready to take control of Loki's mind, try to control him? No. Never.

"What happened here?" I rolled my eyes. Why are you asking me if you know I can not reply? Fool! "Can you get up?"

Maybe. Probably. Why did he ask if he pulled me up second later.

"I woke in an empty bed."

 **Should I be sorry for that?**

"No, Isabella." Why are you smiling? "There is a first time for everything."

 **Lucky me.**

"Hands up."

He was undressing me, but there was no need to be embarrassed in front of him. I might be naked, but he didn't stare at my body while his eyes were on a level with mine. Maybe I should be offended, but then again, I wasn't entirely sure I want to be seen as attractive to Loki. What good would that bring me? Anyway, while I was processing all that, Loki cleaned the bath of blood and filled it with water and soap. I guess it is time for a bath.

"Try not to drown." He was sitting on edge of bathtub while I was covered with foam. As always, to talk with him, I had to touch him.

 **You're not blue anymore.**

"But you are." He pointed at my chest. "Look at your hands." They healed. "The stone... It is both helping and destroying you. Feeding on host to grow stronger, but hesitating to be bare."

 **I get it. I should be dead.**

"Odds are not in your favour. Then again, neither were six months ago, but you still live... And we do not know for how long before that you hosted stone." He calls it stone I call it a parasite.

 **I was fine before Chiaturi.**

"Someone prone to accidents like you, was never truly fine."

 **Says the man who...** I didn't finish that thought. It was vile.

"What?"

 **Nothing.**

"I will find eventually."

 **You might, but then I could make you forget.**

"Could you really?"

I did it to your mother, that is what I wanted to say. But I didn't want to risk having him try to drown me in the bathtub. He loved Frigga, I don't doubt he would kill me on the spot if he ever found out. That is why he will never know. Getting in his head seemed like mission impossible. Maybe I could get in and find what I am looking for, but could I make him forget? He is a trickster, god of lies and therefore the man who is better not angered.

 **Yes.**

"Interesting... But would you do it?"

 **No.**

"Why not?"

 **You're more fun this way... And the only person here who can I talk with.**

"Is that only reason."

No.

 **It is a pretty good one. I miss it, my voice I mean. I spent years in silence, rather listening what others have to say, and now, I would do anything just to be able to shout, make people hear me.**

"In that case you would scream for help when my mask fell."

 **I deal well with freaky. And you might have a mask, but I've seen through it before.** I elaborated on that part. **Odin would rather invite a goat to breakfast than me.**

"You knew."

 **Not from beginning, but I suspected**. He wouldn't allow to be killed so easily.

"Did you mourn?" His question surprised me.

Loki was staring at me with his beautiful eyes and what he wanted was sincerity. But I didn't mourn for him, did he want to hear that? When he was gone did I miss him? I thought about him, I developed understanding for him, but I never stopped being aware that what he is capable of. His death never made any sense to be, that is why I didn't mourn. I couldn't mourn for somebody I doubted was dead. I hoped he wasn't.

 **I didn't think you were dead.**

"I'm flattered you think highly of my survival instincts."

 **I actually think Thor is an idiot and easy to fool, but whatever.**

"Bubbles disappeared." That made my cheeks rosy. I didn't think much of being naked in front of him, but that was before bubbles disappeared.

 **Does my naked body bother you?**

I let go of his hand, regaining awareness of being mute. Water was getting cold and it was time to get out of the bathtub and grab a towel. My actions might be translated as sexual, but that wasn't my worry. Loki is my only company in this freaking realm and I am his. I am mortal surrounded by gods and he is a betrayer. Clearly we are doomed to stick together. And I'll do my best to look at least somewhat confident, my naked butt might not be the best way for that, but options are limited.

"Not at all."

* * *

 **Lovely couple, aren't they?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

* * *

Carrots, cut in small pieces, a lot of soup and very soft biscuits. That was pity. Loki had all food arranged for my needs or what he thought my needs were. For that I couldn't be thankful. He treated me like a weeping child, which was embarrassing. Compared to him I am a baby, but that is unimportant. I didn't need his pity as I had enough of it. Furthermore, I surely didn't need a guarding dog sitting in a chair in the corner of my chamber, or the same dog sleeping on my bed. Okay, technically it is his room and his bed, but that doesn't give Loki the right to squeeze his way in everything I do.

I wasn't happy or content in Asgard, but sadly there is nothing on Earth for me. It was devastating to know that all I have now is Loki. Under the mask of Odin, he is my only support. And some support he is, I felt so weak in his company. Nothing could get in his way, he was untouchable and I, so damaged. Loki would wake me from my nightmares, hold my hair while throwing up blood, make bubble baths... I wondered why he did anything for me. I couldn't give him anything in return, only the stone he would need to carve it out of my chest.

 **People talk.**

"About what?"

 **Allfather visiting his new mistress every night.**

"Which mistress?"

 **Lady Sif. I was of course sarcastic.**

"She never seemed to be an Allfather's type. He sees her rarely these days.''

 **You rarely see anyone, but me.**

"My company bothers you then."

 **Don't make foolish assumptions.**

"You don't like me much, what else can I think?"

 **You just want me to say that is not the case.**

His smile confirmed my words. Wicked bastard. He knew very well I like him, if I didn't I wouldn't tolerate his bullshit. I had my freedom to tell him off every now and then, but I didn't want to push. In a way I thought of him to be alike me, alone and lonely in this cruel world. It was dangerous, but I wasn't afraid of him. Partly because I didn't invade his thoughts. Who knows what I would see in his head. If he ever thought of killing me, I would rather not know.

There were plenty opportunities for me to take a peek into his head, just like one at the moment. Loki was sleeping with his head on my lap while I was reading one of the books I took from the library. I had my fingers in his hair and one small touch on his skin would be enough to read him without him ever finding out, but I draw my hand back. Tried to take my mind off with the book, but I've found myself admiring his aesthetically pleasing face. Loki never slept fully relaxed, but this time he was exactly that. Turning to make himself more comfortable, his hand touched mine and I saw hell.

I saw how often he thought about me, imagining all kinds of things we could do together or what he could do to me. I was a snake seducing him while wrapping my tail around his neck. He didn't allow himself to trust me, he needed to control me so I wouldn't control him. He wanted to skin me alive, see what I am made of. I was in his darkest thoughts, his desires. He needed me and thought of every possible way to replace me. In a way truly wicked, Loki wanted to kill me as much as he wanted to fuck me.

I never wanted to see any of these, but I did and there is no turning back now. I knew I had to do something, but I was unsure what. If I run out of the room and hide, he will eventually find me. Only way I could be safe from him is if I jump from Bifrost, but then I'm dead. The person I've chosen to be the one to protect me might as well become one to kill me. Loki didn't want to need me and that is why I needed to make sure he never stops needing me. For now, I needed time think.

"Sneaking out of bed?" I didn't notice when he woke.

 **Just like real mistress.**

"You're still not Odin's type, he prefers blondes." Loki had this smile on his face. It was cute. So was the plot to kill me, but at the moment I held on small detail. I never asked what he did with Odin, but he keeps speaking about him in the present tense and I know grammar.

 **But we are not talking about Odin here. Is half-dead miserable mortal to your liking?**

"You just want me to say you're not miserable."

No need Loki, I know I am not. I've seen it in your head honey, but you will never know. I have a history with people far thirstier for blood than this spoiled child playing with a king's crown. I was beginning to like him, but I like oxygen in my lungs too. What could one expect from someone ready to betray family that raised him? I admit we all have our desires and aspirations, but those don't compare to mine. Loki will need me more than he ever needed anything else. If not. I smell treason.

 **I want you to say you like me. But we both know that won't happen in my lifetime.**

"Isabella…" He sat up. He was serious. "I like you." I let out some sort of laugh.

How about coffin with nice purple velvet inside? Burial under tree? Nice flowers on my grave, daffodils maybe? Anassembly singing some touching song. A priest reading from Bibble, people who are present at my funeral tearing up and praying to save my soul. Hmm, I could use a beer now and just imagine if the beer is so good on the Earth, how good would be up in the heavens. Heavenly beer. But lets face it, I will be turning barbecue in hell and why I think of all this is simple. If Loki likes me…

 **Then I'm already dead.**

* * *

Time passes fast.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

* * *

"Cullen clan managed to survive. They joined forces with the Wolfpack and some of them acquired more strength by feeding on humans." Heimdall must be speaking of Jasper. "The woman, your foe has escaped yet again, leaving newborns and her new lover to slaughter. Riley B-…"

I held my hand up to make Heimdall stop talking. I heard what I asked, I didn't need to hear details of battle or how many people lives in Forks after kidnapping and I certainly didn't need to know that Jacob wears boxers with hearts. Once he stopped talking, Heimdall was bearable and that made my stay at edge of Bifros a lot more pleasurable. This was the only place I could have peace from guards or Loki so I spent as much time here as possible. I even slept here, not that I could sleep for too long. I became paranoid, but on Bifrost I got at least a few hours.

Usually, there was no peace for me around Loki. I tried not to show, but he is always around and all I can think of is how he wants to kill me. He touches me and I can't help but flinch. My mind freezes when I should allow him to talk to me. I never forgot in how vulnerable position I am and now for the first time I thought of its benefits. I wasn't against an agile vampire with bare strength or werewolves, I was against God. And he is a cunning bastard, which meant I needed to be cunning as well.

If he wants to kill me, I need to do everything in my power to survive. Everything I did by this point was to survive and I plan to fight till my last breath. If by any means he kills me and I become ghosts, he will see no peace, but that is plan F… I thought of revealing his secret and bringing Odin back to the throne, but that included bringing Thor who I couldn't stomach. Or Heimdall, Sif, even finding Odin myself if that bastard is still alive, but this is personal. Loki vs. me.

Way back when I was already marked as dead, I killed Jessica before she could kill me. Lying in bed next to sleeping Loki, I thought of doing the same. Striking before he strikes me. I had means to do it, he carried weapons with him. It would be the greatest irony if he was killed by his own dagger, his weapon of choice. But that wasn't my style, I wanted to see the look in his eyes while taking the life of a big bad immortal. I needed him to know I outsmarted him. That one mortal outsmarted him.

"Why are you still awake?" Loki asked already reaching for my skin. "Another nightmare?"

 **Yes.** I lied smoothly. I no longer needed to fall asleep to have bad dreams.

"Come here." He pulled me to his chest before I could agree. I felt exposed like this. I couldn't shake away the feeling that he will see what is happening in my head. "What was it about?"

 **Usually, it is reliving of Caius drinking from my neck…** Loki's fingers found the scars on it. I normally flinched.

"Usually, but now?" His breath was on my neck.

 **It is nothing.**

"Liar."

I smiled at his accusation. Loki knew I lied, but only because I allowed him to know. Up until now he played games with me, it seems fair for me to reply. So I lied to him about my dreams being about death. How I keep dying in my dreams in one of most horrible ways. Later on I elaborated how to define a horrible way to die. I told him that in my nightmares I am killed by the person I trust the most and when he asked who that person is, I simply responded.

 **You.**

"Then you have nothing to worry about." His reply seemed natural.

Liar. I held back that thought. There was a slight hesitation, it lasted less than second, but it was there. I was able to see it because I waited for it. Deep down I wished his words were the truth, but I couldn't forget what is going in his head... As he fell asleep with me on his chest, I realized how badly I wanted to trust him. Granted, I wanted so much more of him. He wanted to kill me as much as he wanted to fuck me. I wanted same. If it comes to it, I don't know if I am ready to kill Loki. But I will have to.

The next day I spent in the library among useless books about Frost Giants. There is no literature how to kill one. I was just putting the last book away when two guards and the Lady Sif came looking for me. It was evening already and I was needed in the throne room to dine with Allfather. Loki was raging during the whole meal, but I only asked what is going on when he made all guards exit. Of course he yelled how incompetent they are before the doors closed.

 **Speak.**

"We have a traitor among us..."

 **Indeed. You.**

"This is not a time for jokes!"

 **Says the trickster.**

"Will you stop-..."

 **Will you stop with drama, Loki?**

"Don't talk to me like I am a child."

 **Don't yell at me and I won't.**

"Fine."

 **Fine.**

"Someone killed Lorelei.''

I don't see a problem with that.

* * *

 **Do you see problem with that?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"I've made a list of people who'd have the benefit of Lorelei's death... But all of them had opportunity before..."

 **Maybe she ended her misery.**

"She spent six hundred years waiting for a chance..."

 **And she succeeded, but was caught. Surely, she realized she won't ever get out of the cell.**

"You don't know her like I do."

 **You knew her. Past tense. She is dead and completely irrelevant.**

"I needed her."

 **You needed a woman who can enslave men... Ridiculous.**

 **"** Not from my point of view. **"**

Of course he said that. I was aware of his plans and Lorelei seemed to be the key for them, but I won't lie: She is better off dead. I don't need a threat like her anywhere near me and if Loki wanted her to work with him he would have to give her freedom. Maybe Loki was ready for that, but Asgard not so. The witch wasn't a favourite of anyone, men hated her for controlling them and women for taking their husbands. She was only good dead, but Loki didn't give her peace.

"Isabella?"

I rolled my eyes. Loki was ready to start yelling at me seconds ago, but as soon as I cut him access to my thoughts and stopped replying, his voice appeared gentle. Slime git. I gave too much of myself to him and in return I got more talks of impossible and at the moment about Lorelei. It was hard pretending I know nothing and that I'm fine. My hands were shaking. Why did he want me dead? Loki puts me in a position in which I am sure, I'll soon lose my mind.

"Why are plates floating?"

And books, and cutlery and bed... Sole look at my still shaking hands gave all answers. My skin was raging in blue. I was connected to that stone like... I ran out of silly comparisons. But the point is, whenever I was upset the stone was too. My hands were shaking so the whole room was. It stopped when I calmed down. Luckily, with no major damage, but Loki was staring at me as if I grew horns on top of my head. I had no patience to explain myself.

"Talk to me, Isabella."

I can't.

I left Loki to worry about Lorelie, treasons and whatnot. I visited Frigga's gardens, but the beauty had no appeal. What did a rose mean to me? Well, it could be used as flower you put on my grave, but that was off the point. Hungry, I picked one of those damned apples and headed to the library. I don't understand how the environment works in Asgard, but from what I've seen, they have apples all year. If only they tasted as good as on the Earth...

The library wasn't empty, but only Lady Sif was in and I didn't think she would be a problem. For the fifth day in a row, I had yet again spent hours among books about Frost Giants. At this point I doubt any of real knowledge ever came from the book, but I wasn't keen on asking questions. I couldn't exactly come to Loki and ask him how to kill him. Others were of no use, Lady Sif for example, would lend me her sword to fight with it in the best case. Not useful at all.

"Lady Isabella..." Mentioned Lady approached me, much to my surprise. "I've noticed you spend a lot of time here... When you're not with Allfather."

This should be interesting. I do wonder what she'll accuse me of.

"Thor might be gone, but he didn't leave Asgard to burn."

Actually, he did just that...

"I am aware of human strange nature, but you are more than strange and Allfather hated you at first, but he now spends all his time with you."

So she thinks I am his Mistress.

"You could be his mistress, but you're not."

Do enlighten me then. What am I?

"Frost Giants..." She pointed at my book. "Everything you read is about them... I've been watching you for a while and I was watching him, our King."

I smell brainwashing on the way.

"What did Loki do with Allfather?!" She pulled out her sword on me. Cute.

 **Lady Sif..**. She heard my voice in her head.

"You witch!"

The bitch pushed me against the shelf. I hit her with a book. I couldn't fight against her, she was way stronger and a fucking warrior. If Loki and I were so easily revealed by Sif, that was a problem. She was observing us for a while, but I never noticed. I got in her head and saw that no one else knew what she was up, but in the process she brushed my forehead with a sword. I had to fight against her, because if she wins then I will sink down along with Loki.

"Out of my head!"

If she isn't she could be goddess of war, Lady Sif knows how to punch. I was sure she could beat me to death, if I didn't have a stone. She was fast and good at avoiding my touch, but as I said, when I am upset so is the stone. The books flew from shelves at her, but she still held on that stupid sword of hers. I had to pry it from her hands and she slipped from my control. Sif jumped at me and went for my neck. She could have killed me on the spot.

Blood splashed me.

* * *

...


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

* * *

Some philosophers thought that a proper way of thinking is equal to matter. Unfortunately, I am not a rational being, but one very reckless and impulse. And you can only imagine what I think about… Things I want. With the infinity stone in my chest, my wants are equal to doing the actual deed. That is how Sif got in the hospital. I almost killed her or the stone almost did, it was hard to say these days when the stone and I are one. Clearly, the stone decided not to kill the host... For now.

I did what was in my best interest. Brainwashed her, left the spot and sent one of maids to find injured Sif. I sneaked back to my chamber and locked myself in the bathroom. Sif did a good job, especially on my forehead. I'm not sure there is a way to hide cut like that. And the clothes, there have been just too much blood on the dress to make it seem like I was on my period. I had to act quickly, destroy any evidence left. How exactly, I had no idea, because in this fucked up situation my body is the proof.

After washing my body, I threw the dress in the bathtub and tried to rub out Sif's blood. It was nowhere as successful as I hoped it will be. I couldn't sneak out with it, but I can hide it and in few days convince maids it is the red wine stain. This plan was beyond stupid, but the best I had. The dress wasn't even the biggest problem. How in the name of Odin will I cover bruises and head wound? Sure, the clothing will cover most of my body, but the neck will pretty much be revealed and head... Maybe I could cut bangs.

Only hilarious ideas crossed my mind. All about hiding evidence, but I hadn't yet asked myself why I did what I did. I could have played the victim when Sif realized Loki is portraying Allfather. That is believable, I am weak mortal after all. I could have done that and Sif would do everything in her power to protect me from Loki. But the thing is, I didn't want to reveal Loki. I spent so much time with him, that even now when he wants to kill me I refuse to betray him. Damn the universe, but I am still loyal.

I must be the most miserable being in the whole universe. It was in my best interest to kill Loki before he kills me, but I cared for him way too much to do it. I couldn't kill him to save myself, but I killed to save Loki. I would do anything to prevent killing him and I've already done so much… My flow of thoughts was stopped by the strong ache in my chest. If I had a tongue, I would have bitten it off how much that bitch hurt. Once it stopped, I was sure I'm about to pass out, when actually I felt better. There was no pain and no worry in the world. The stone erased all evidence.

"Isabella!" I heard Loki scream and second later he broke down the doors of the bathroom to get in. "Isabella." He wrapped his arms around me.

 **Loki? What is going on?**

"Someone attacked Lady Sif-…"

 **That is horrible!** I shrieked, only thing that is horrible is my acting. **But why are you here?**

„Sif was in the library when she got attacked, you are usually there around this time and.."

 **You were afraid something happened to me.** How sweet. **I'm here, I was having a bath and…** Don't mind my nakedness…

"I see you're fine, I have to get going. See if Sif remembers anything." It is too late to play it cool now honey.

 **Do you think the attacks on Sif and Lorelei are connected?**

"Possibly."

Loki turned back before leaving chambers. I was confused by his behavior, but shrugged it off. I had no worry in the world as Sif knows nothing. Next day, whole palace was gossiping about yesterday's events. They all were afraid there is a mole on the court, they were of course correct, but there was nobody they could point their finger at. With whole Asgard in fear, I was the only one collected. There is no reason for panic. Loki acted the same, though I suspect it is all for show as he spent the whole night pacing up and down.

"Sif knows nothing." Loki said as we dined two days after the incident. "She was attacked from the back with her own weapon." This whole drama with Sif bored me. Surely there was something else we could speak about. "Is dinner not to your liking?"

 **I was just thinking about something. Meat is delicious.**

"I'm glad…" Something was off. "It is Lorelei's heart."

 **What?**

"Do you know what day today is?" He ignored my previous question like it was no big deal. I shook my head. "Heimdall informs me it is September 13th today."

 **My birthday.**

„Exactly. I arranged dinner, cake, even present." Loki placed small vial with black liquid on table."I found a way to give you what you want the most, your tongue, your voice… It was a while I wanted to hear your voice and convince myself you are real and not some voice in my head, making me insane… Isabella, I truly wanted it, to be the one to give you your voice back, but I am afraid you will have to take it now and explain to whole Asgard why you killed a prisoner and attacked Lady Sif." He pushed the vial in my hand.

I stared at him and dared to smile. **Maybe you'd like to explain to whole** **Asgard why you killed their king?**

* * *

 **Did you kill Odin?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"What did you do?!"

We were surrounded with people so each word had to be chosen carefully, but that of course didn't mean Loki's rage won't come to surface. It brought the worst of him because he was in such a helpless situation. What would Asgard think if their king made a scene in the hall? Odin was too lazy for that or how they would say collected to do it. Loki couldn't go out of character and strangle me across the table. Odin would rather throw me in the dungeons, but Loki was in no position to do that.

 **You mean what you did?** I knew I was pushing way too hard, but this is survival of the fittest. **Go check if you don't believe me.**

For the first time since I've met this monster, he kept his mouth shut. I watched him leave the hall with my lips curved in a grin. Loki won't find Odin and neither will he find out what I did with him. No, I didn't kill him. Odin was too valuable to kill and he was the tool with which I could send Loki over the edge. It was almost too fun to have this much power over somebody, but it was satisfying because that was Loki and I made a fool of him. And I'm greedy, I have much and I want even more. Let's not forget that my wants are equal to matter. I'll have everything.

Moan escaped my lips after taking another bite of Lorelei's heart. It was that good and I was smiling the whole time during the , I soon had to scowl at my plate. I ate the last piece of food on my plate, but wasn't mentally prepared. I didn't savour the taste of it and there was no desert to brighten up my mood. How rude considering Loki promised me a cake. My actions were monstrous, but I have no mother and no father to teach me better.

"Mistress." It was Sygin who approached me when I finished my meal. "We did as you told us. Everything is ready for our departure."

 **I'm pleased to hear that. Stay close.**

Everything that happens in the next few hours has been planned days ahead. Well, almost everything. There was this vial that was supposed to give me my voice back. I didn't know if this was a trick or not, but I kept the vial and made my way to Loki's chambers. Loki was only partly right, it was my great wish to speak again, but that is not what I wanted the most. It is bad luck that I'll never get the chance to do it. Loki will never forgive me. Frankly, I didn't know if I even wanted his forgiveness. It was pointless and unnecessary.

"Where is Odin?" Loki came to me after three hours he undoubtedly spent searching for Odin. Let's just say Odin wasn't where Loki left him.

 **His body or his spirit?**

"What has gotten into you?"

 **You've got under my skin.**

It was so painfully obvious he was trying to stay calm. I've seen that look in his eyes too many times not to know he wanted to curl his hand around my neck and squeeze the life out of me. I certainly didn't anticipate him doing that, but it is better to be safe than sorry. By no means did this mean I'll stop irking him. He is in no position to threaten me after all. Poor, poor Loki. There was only one way to settle this and that was by my rules. If someone has to die, let it not be me.

"Why Lorelei?" I snorted how predictable he was.

 **Because you needed her.**

"You killed her to spite me? Had I not been kind to you?"

 **You do not understand what kind means.**

"And a murderer like you does?"

 **What is one compared to eighty?**

What is Lorelei compared to me? She was part of Loki's plan, but I didn't kill her to prevent his plans becoming reality. Lorelei and I shared similar skill set, with her gone Loki would eventually turn to me. I could do what he needed and I would do it for him, I would do even more than what he would ask of me. I killed Lorelei to replace her. I needed to be needed because as such I would be irreplaceable. So I went to the dungeon with Loki's dagger one night when he was sleeping. I made her suffer, watched her suffocate on her own blood.

 **Why do you think I attacked Sif?**

"There was blood on your shoe." Maybe I was that stupid to actually miss a spot or maybe he wanted to discuss other things. "Why her?"

 **That one was an accident. I didn't intend to hurt her.**

"Sure. You almost killed her. Stop playing games Isabella. Why?!"

 **Because I needed to.** Loki laughed. **You've been lazy Loki, not nearly as convincing impersonating Odin. Sif figured it out and she would rant you out.** The laughter died. **I would kill for you if I had to. Now I see it would be better if she revealed you. I would no longer worry if you try to kill me or not.**

"You are delusional. What gave you the idea I want to kill you?"

 **You obsses with possibility.**

"You have no idea what you are talking about, do you?" He doubted my ability to comprehend.

 **What is this?** I showed him the vial. **How fast would I die if I drank this?**

"It is not posion."

 **Prove it.**

Loki studied my face, there was nothing he could figure as it was deadpan. His brows met in middle, I imagine he was trying to dig facts up from my mind. There was nothing for him and it will remain like that forever. He snatched the vial from my hand, took the lid and drank half of it's content. I observed him carefully, watched how his confidance started to fade. I've never seen him worried and he was now terified, Grasping for air and feeling weak in his knees. I did one last good thing for him, pushed him on bed rather than have him colapse on floor.

"Isabella..."

 **Don't speak.** I leaned in and kiss him.

"What did you do to me?" I pushed his hair away from his face.

 **You'll be fine, I merely switched the content. It was about time you stopped trusting me.** I reassured him. "I don't trust you anymore."

* * *

 **"..."**

 **Review=spoiler**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

* * *

Earth.

The sight before me was unknown. I wasn't familiar with the harsh environment and the severe weather. Surprisingly, the cold didn't bite in my bones though I was dressed lightly. I looked up to sky, bright sunlight making me close my eyes. I missed this more than I allowed myself to. The wind blowing my hair in all directions making me frustrated, the rain soaking through my clothes, the ice making me slip on the way to my truck and the Sun burning my fair skin. I never appreciated any of that before and now while barefooted stepping in knee high snow, I had the urge to lie down in the cold and wait for my teeth to chatter. The Earth is my home, but I don't belong here and I feel like an alien breathing in unfamiliar air.

'' Mistress, our base has been set underground.'' Sigyn informed me.

'' And Odin?''

'' Allfather will wake when you see it as appropriate.''

'' You did well.''

I wanted to say something more just to hear my voice again, but Sigyn left to attend assignments I've given her. It was pleasing and at the same time odd how words rolled off my tongue. I spoke like a foreigner in another country, not fluently or naturally as I used to while I still had to adapt to it and figure once again how to place my tongue in my mouth. I wasn't overly excited about going around with my tongue sticking out causing me to drool like a dog. Thankfully, I mastered the skill during two days I spent underground, then I headed south and encountered old friends.

'' I never imagined you'd slip so easily.'' I said to my red eyed company.

'' It is not a slip out if it was done purposely.''

''Of course not, Emmet.''

I didn't question what caused the diet change, but I learned Emmet was not the only one. Jasper suggested human blood before the encounter with newborn army and Rosalie and Emmet agreed. After defeating the newborns, red eyes caused the row in the family and Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper left. Surprisingly, though, the Cullen treaty with wolves is still intact and that is why I met Emmet on my way to Charlie's grave. I had no time to start a fight with him so I was polite. After all, my problem wasn't with him.

'' How is it there..? Up I mean.''

''Boring.''

'' It cannot be that boring if you have tongue again.'' Well that is true.

''It is complicated and it should be frightening, but it is just... I don't really know how to explain it. Gods are hard to deal with, but I cannot change them and I cannot forget Asgard is the place I'll always go back to.''

'' Has some douchy god seduced you or what?'' I laughed. '' Can't you stay here? We can protect you.''

'' That is sweet, but only I can protect myself against all coming my way. I'm not safe here.

The second I left Asgard, I knew I'm only making short trip. I put Heimdall under a spell, the weakling allowed me to pass with two guards carrying Odin. I put him away and waited for a right time to return. Loki already wants my head, I only irked him further. I stood at Charlie's grave for a while, couldn't find the words to say so I just stared at his gravestone. I heard howls in the distance and decided it was time to leave. It would be nice to see Jacob, but at the same time, it would remind me of the things I can no longer have.

"Heimdall!" Obedient servant took me to Asgard in seconds.

"King is waiting for you in his chambers." His eyes were shining in blue.

"Noted." I turned to two guards Loki sent to wait for me. "Hello boys." No reply. "You two are no fun... But you will be."

I ordered them to dance with Heimdall. No wonder Hawkeye detests mind control, just look how stupid one can look dancing polka in the observatory. I continued down the Bifrost alone, I had all time in the world to reach my destination. I walked in the palace with confidence I never knew I could have. It felt good and I was certain in wouldn't fade when I reach Loki. He must be waiting for me with a butcher. Oh well, the butcher might end cutting his own head off.

"Have you missed me?" I announced my arrival to Loki, who was standing by the window.

"You kissed me." There was just that statement and no butcher in sight.

"And poisoned you." I pointed out.

"You killed Lorelei to spite me."

"I attacked Sif to protect you."

"You took Odin."

"I took insurance."

"You took Infinity Gauntlet from Vault."

"I sent one stone to Thanos."

"Why?"

"From King and Queen."

"Why are you doing all of this?"

Because the stone in my chest influenced me to do bad things, because it has twisted my mind not to feel any guilt. Because I spent years in fear, my heart skipping a beat at every corner, I used to fear so much that fear became overworked emotion I can no longer feel. Because I made a deal with the devil and saw Death for what she is. Endless void and suffering in darkest places in one's mind. Because I overcame hatred for monster and became one myself.

"I am protecting myself from your paranoia."

"Things are not always as they appear."

"So those images in your head when you climax after killing me is actually you picking daisies?"

"What you saw were nightmares, fears... Tell me Isabella, am I not allowed to fear? Have somebody dear to me and worry you will be taken from me?" He almost convinced me.

"It wasn't a nightmare when you considered giving me to Thanos to save your skin."

* * *

 **Anger**.

 **Review = teaser**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

* * *

"It was what you bargained for."

"I was promised safety. Handing me to Thanos leads to my death."

"My solution was for temporary use."

"Then my offer was also temporary… And no longer valid."

"Your behavior is irrational Don't fret over things that won't happen.. Given the same sentence you would do the same if our places were swapped. You are a survivor after all. "

That is where Loki is wrong. I wouldn't trade him so I could continue my miserable existence. I remember how I felt about him at the start and things didn't change much, I've only accepted him for what he is. Some people are unable to change or they change as boomerang, temporary at one side and then return to where they started. Not Loki, if I compare his ways, to mine, the god of lies has told more truths. I appreciate that about him and I wouldn't trade him for my life, even if he was twenty times worse.

"Our places aren't swapped and we are here. You just have to decide what you want to do with me."

"And when will you decide what you want with me? Or better what you want from me? I am not a blind man, Isabella, and I know how you women think, even mortal ones. It is not uncommon for your gender, you catch feelings so easily." I wanted to slap him, but I refuse to show how much he affects me.

I once loved a perfect man. I loved him as much as my heart allowed me too and when we were over, I felt as if a hole has been punched through my chest. Edward is no longer perfect to me, I see the faults of our relationship and at times I wonder if I will ever get so close to anyone. Love is what makes somebody perfect and lovers blind, but I see Loki clearly. I know what he has done by now and partly what he will do in future, and still, I want him near him. Not necessary skin to skin, but close enough so I can check if he is alright.

''You think I want your love?" Poor, poor Loki. "What is the love of somebody like you to me? You need nobody and nothing. you will rather kill a person than bother to love them.''

''Would you rather I am like Thor? Thor, who loves everyone and everything. How would you feel competing with whole world for his affection?''

'' This is not about Thor-...''

''Is it not? You call yourself a Queen, but where is your king? You exist with the sole purpose of taking self-interest, you came to destroy Asgard, take vengeance because your kind wronged you. The stone gives you means for malice, you destroy things due to your foolishness and yet, you remain what you always were, a pitiful tramp. You would throw yourself at first who seeks you.''

"You confuse me for somebody who would deliberately want to spend time with you."

"And you confuse my patience with kindness."

Granted, Loki was ready to say anything that would make him appear less guilty. He made me feel as if I just met him, he willingly reminded me of every reason why he deserves to be hated. I gave him just as many reasons to detest me. I made him weak, blackmailed him with Odin, emptied the vault and sent one stone to Thanos. Whatever I did, he saw as a threat and it was how I needed it to be, but loathing in his voice bothered me. I wanted his acknowledgment and respect, but I don't see a way to get any of that now.

"Why don't you end it all?" I wanted to see how far I can push. "Grant me mercy, take your dagger and end me." I stepped way into his personal space, my breath hitting his neck and pulled a dagger from his pants. "You could take the stone to Thanos and save your skin." I pushed the mentioned dagger in his hand. ''If that is what you want.''

I watched his face harden and wished to reach out and see what troubles him. I saw him adjust his grip on the weapon. Standing so close to him, I clearly saw how each of his muscles moved. None of his actions alarmed me. I knew, or at least hoped, Loki won't strike me. We both wanted theatricality and it seemed like we were on a stage playing husband and wife about to divorce. Their marriage cannot survive, both of them cheated you know. In real life, Loki and I lost each other's trust, if there was any ever between us.

"You spend too much time thinking about your death. I wonder how much you spend thinking about mine?" Too much, way too much. "Why don't you show me how you would do it?" Loki pushed the dagger in my hand.

"Any last words?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What?"

"What?"

"You would do it." Was that disbelief in his voice?

"Don't be offended. I like you and all, but as you said it, I'm a survivor." I placed my hand on his chest. "So, heart or throat?"

"Put it away. No one is killing anyone."

"Why?"

"Because neither of us wants to kill another. And because we are not done with each other. We can play cat and mouse all day long, we don't have to admit anything, but you should know I won't hurt you."

"That is easy to say."

"Maybe, but without me you'd be unable to say anything at all." Fucker. "You've been in my head, you know very well what I want."

"How is that reassuring?"

"It isn't." At least we agree on something."But you cannot ignore what we-..."

"Feel?" I interrupted him. "Speak for yourself. You wiggled in my bed."

"You kissed me." That was the accusation.

"After poisoning you."

"Don't take us back to start. I will only admit my sins if you admit yours."

"Fuck your diplomacy. This isn't love."

"Then give it another name."

"Desire."

"Lust."

"Death."

* * *

 **Erratic?**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

* * *

"I want you out of my head."

Bruises and bloody marks faded, only a small trail of blood on sheets proved what happened between Loki and me. I had his blood and skin under nails while some of my hair Loki pulled out was around his fingers. I couldn't look at him, and it wasn't due to shame or regret. My eyes were on the ceiling, but not looking at Loki didn't help me with ignoring his naked body in bed to mine. Shallow desires have taken over us and whatever this between us was, it was fragile. I deemed him important to me and I believed it wholeheartedly that he wouldn't lay with me without caring for me.

The silence between us was putting me off. My night with him certainly wasn't act of love, not from my side and not from his. I had trouble understanding if feelings like that are allowed. My heart and head didn't work together in the past, and they will never even now when my head is in charge rather than heart. There is no scenario in which I don't get hurt. I wish for simple things, but I need great things. The pulsating blue in my chest wants to rip me apart. Stones need to be united, only if I collect them all before Thanos, only then will I be safe. That mission is far more important than screwing Loki.

"Out of my head, thoughts and out of my bed."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"For now I am asking you, but I won't hesitate to show you the doors."

"Isabella-…"

"It is Lady Swan for you."

Feelings are useless. And so is the man I have them for. Loki won't kill me, he is weak under my blackmail, but his debonair will. I cannot have peace, settle down by his side with this knowledge. Months passed in silence, but I know Thanos lurks. He is heading my way, I feel the rest of the stones moving across the universe to meet at one place. When Thanos comes, I won't run because if I run from Asgard then I will spend the rest of my mortal life running. Thanos needs to be eliminated, going against him is like courting death, and sweet irony is strong here.

"You used me."

"Did I?" He wasn't protesting earlier, he seemed to enjoy himself. "How does it feel?"

"Do you find this humorous?" A little. "Tricking a trickster?"

"This is not a trick, Loki… I think of it as of motivation."

"Motivation for what?"

"Don't sound so angry, I am breaking more than your heart here. Do not think I am doing this for selfish reason… Well, maybe, or indeed I am doing this for very selfish reasons, but what can one do? It is-…"

"It is time you tell me why I am getting kicked out of my own bed."

"This is my bed, Dearest King. The previous owner is dead." Details, details. "You will let me go and not interfere with my plans. Only after I win a race to death, will I seek you out."

"Don't speak in riddles."

"I give you up."

Whispering sweet things on the pillow… One can only dream. It was never my plan to cuddle with Loki and I need to be clever about this. Pulling away and standing before equally naked Loki seemed like a prelude to something, but it was the end. What is true about us, is that we will hurt each other one way or another. Sadly, we cannot protect each other from darkness coming our way. Each of us got seduced by darkness, we are hungry for power and it will never be enough. I don't want to be vulnerable and overruled, I want to be in charge.

"What gives you right to decide for me?"

"I am not deciding for you. But I could."

"You can't walk straight, how can somebody like-..."

"Like me? You mean mortal who holds more power than you can dream of?"

Be the god, be the most powerful creature that walks across the universe, but no one can duel the power of infinity stones. I have one and at times I am sure that it is killing me, but I realized the real power comes with sacrifices. You lose yourself, your beliefs and innocence. Thankfully, what you get in return is to suit all needs. May the tyrants be tyrants and oppressed oppressed, but in this story I am the tyrant facing another. Loki doesn't fit the category, so it is better he is kept away.

"Stop this madness Isabella... Whatever got in your head-..." I interrupted him again.

"But you've been in my head. Is your belief wrong?" His face, total joke. ". We lack time to bother with confusion. What happened here means nothing."

Lie, lie, better. That is what my mind yells at me. Even if I could speak freely, I still wouldn't admit that this could change everything between us. But I cannot have this now. Loki is my motivation, small glimpse what I will have after the defeat of Thanos. While I do not regret being with Loki, I worry that our feelings could bring us doom. Thanos will use everything he can against us. I am only needed for the stone, but Loki on the other hand is awaiting his punishment. I don't want to find myself in a situation where Loki's life will depend on me. I've become selfish, I fear that I will pick saving my life after his.

"Agree to my terms."

"I do what I want."

"Then I will make you."

* * *

 **Happy holidays.**

 **27/30**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

* * *

"I let you be and look what you've done."

"You shouldn't have sent dumb guards."

"So this is my fault?!"

This was the first conversation Loki and I had after two months. We were ignoring each other whole time and things got out of hand. To avoid him, I switched day for night. Little sleep I could get I used during the day, I would only leave my chamber during the night. At least I used my time in a clever way. I was practicing with stone which led to the destruction of most furniture. I was sleeping on mattress cut in half for three weeks now. Tonight during one of my practices two guards interrupted me and lost their heads.

"It was an accident. They shouldn't have interrupted me."

"Of course not. Poor Lady Swan has been never guilty of anything."

"Maybe I share traits with misunderstood rightful King." Mock for mock.

"I allow you to mess with me, but you won't hurt any of my people."

"People following false King to their deaths are your people. What a demise for them."

"You say you fear nothing, but Thanos is exception. His arrival makes you nervous."

"You're the one who is afraid. I am only a pretty box for precious gem, you failed him. He will try to kill me, but he will leave you alive and burn the heart out of you."

I didn't need to see visible reaction from Loki to know he was nervous about Thanos' arrival too. I was anticipating Thanos, adrenaline was pumping with my blood. The stones are getting closer and to do what I want, I need to get as far as possible from Loki. Getting the stones will be the priority for Thanos and if I lure him away, I might get the chance to prevent Thanos getting to Loki and put my plan in action. It won't be easy, I imagine it will be the hardest thing that I will ever do. Of course, if I survive.

"Realm Eternal will survive him."

"With what cost?"

"You should worry more about yourself."

"Well... This is me worrying about you."

"If only your words had meaning." Ouch.

"Like yours?"

"My promises will be fulfilled. I will do what is in my power to save you, not only because it is you, but because of Asgard."

"If the ice melted things would be different."

I speak of the ice around his heart, of course. There is an iceberg before my heart, but that is not important now. Whatever we feel it is best not confessed, only trouble follows after that and we have enough of that now. Loki left me with corpses till morning, then he sent a maid to take me to another room. He also sent cleaners to wash out the blood out of his green carpet and collect heads. He came up with a cover story of the vile men trying to kill vulnerable mortal.

After those events, Asgard has begun preparing for Thanos' arrival. I was left in dark with plan of rescue. To prevent me to do anything on my own Loki threw me to the dungeons. I caused nervousness down there, but nothing too much. Few people died, but I couldn't be held responsible for that. I was patient because I knew that when Thanos comes Loki will reveal his marvelous plan and I will do as I see fit then. Breaking his mind to control him won't be a problem.

My stay in the dungeons was very short. Thor returned to Asgard and he wished to see me. Before being brought to his eyes I was pampered and dressed in the finest silk. I was given green dress and I thought of that as of hidden message from Loki. Maybe showing some sort of ownership over me, but I wasn't' given any explanation. With Thor came Jane and as much as I found that surprising, it was pleasant to see another mortal, even one I hated.

" Prince Thor." I bowed.

"Lady Isabella!" Thor was overly enthusiastic, I even received a hug.

" I see Asgard treats you properly. You have one of loveliest sounding voices my ears ever heard."

"You'll make me blush."

By the end of the day I wished I had no tongue. I had to be polite and that was fine challenge. I had to explain Thor the miracle of me regrowing my tongue. I said it was the courtesy of the fair king. I almost suffocated while saying that. I escaped dinner with him by saying I don't feel well. Thor wanted me and Jane to bond, but I knew if I was left alone in the room with her that I'd kill her. My envy of her didn't lessen, even after all this time. I was still angry and hurt.

I was very surprised to learn Thor was staying to defend Asgard. I didn't expect Loki would tell Thor what Asgard is facing. That was good, I think. Loki is at times too proud to ask for help, but at this time I saw him in a different light. Loki had what was needed to be a great King. Too bad no man will ever follow a traitor. What a sad heritage Odin leaves. Thor, complete fool who doesn't know how to lead, but will sit on the throne of Asgard. And Loki, competent as king, but unable to rule.

"Loki." I sought him out few days upon Thanos arrival.

"It is nearly time."

"Asgard is ready."

"Are you?"

"No." I didn't mock him.

"Neither am I." I took his hand in mine and was grateful he didn't push it away.

* * *

 **Happy New Year!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

* * *

Blood and guts were smeared across whole Asgard. To hide me, Loki gave me to the shadows where I wouldn't be able to see or hear, but the shadows talk. I saw the warriors of Asgard disemboweled, I heard their screams, curses and menace. Away from sight, but granted in the middle of it. Even in darkness I closed my eyes, but I couldn't close my ears. Blood seeped between tiles, bones broken and hearts crushed. I felt every death as it was played in my mind. Thanos was watching and so was I.

Dire ends of all, including myself in return for little love. I almost envied Death as my short life spam denies me to be loved as she. No sane can comprehend love great as that. Only someone touched by infinity or insane as I. I understood Thanos, rather his desperation. Am I not just like him? Killing for the person I love? Killing to draw attention to myself? I am worst, because I am too proud to speak my feelings while Thanos is his knees, begging Death to take him.

Loki was fighting alongside Thor, secretly united they fought to save Asgard. They and the warriors fought in name of Odin. Waiting for all to end, I wondered how will what is left of Asgard after this hold up without King? Odin was no more. Wise Allfather saw me as I am and he would do what I firstly wanted. Odin would free me of the stone, but that is not what I want now. Time passed and it was too late now. The stone and I had become one.

Till Death do as a part. That is my truth, the only thing I will never have to lie about. The stone which destroyed my life will never be taken away from me. I vow on it, I swear on my father's grave. I swear on Loki. Sometimes I wish it could all be simple, but I love when it is complicated. He was the predator in my life, but he became a prey. I can hate him, love him, I can leave him behind, hurt him so he hurt me so badly I want him dead. Still he lives because even though the stone can erase him from my mind it cannot replace him.

 _Bella..._

He calls me as an old friend, but it is not yet time to answer. He feels me and I feel him, I see him, but he cannot see me. The stones are with him and it tingles to have them so close. I'm beyond the point of selling my soul to the Devil to get them. I am a monster and I love one. If he only shared my views, what is a tiny little crown when one could have everything. Thanos gets the idea, but he is to sacrifice everything for Lady who doesn't like his serenade. He must be truly ugly or purple.

"Isabella!" I heard Loki's yell from above me.

"I am exactly where you left me!"

"I will dig you up now."

Good. I was getting bored down here and I needed to use the bathroom. Loki and I agreed that it is better if I am kept away from battle and to ensure no one gets to me, Loki buried me alive. It would be impractical if I am claustrophobic. And I really needed to trust Loki on this one, he could have left me to slowly die. He already dug a grave and covered me with soil, it was convenient. But then I don't get a funeral or a tombstone. Anyway, I'm not dying here.

"You took your time."

I didn't visibly acknowledge that he looked like shit. He had bloody wounld on his forehead, multiple stab wounds on the arm, torn garments and he was sweaty. That is how you come from battle or rather escape from one. Him pulling me out of the coffin and seizing me to his embrace, meant more trouble on the way. I knew very little, but I knew many will die in the destruction of what should have lasted for eternity. This is the sacrifice that can duel apocalypse.

"We cannot fight them. Those beasts have large numbers."

"What will you do?"

"I ordered my men to retreat. Asgard cannot be saved, it can only be destroyed."

Think of the atomic bomb. Loki will use power of Teseract for something alike. I understood what he was saying when he said Asgard can only be destroyed. He will sacrifice one part of it to save another. That makes me wonder where is Thor and what he is doing, I cannot imagine he would agree to this. He may not be a complete fool, but he isn't that practical. Obviously Loki has his way with words then, or Thor might not know what is about to happen until it happens.

"And what about me?"

"Before you start arguing with me on this one. I am taking you out of Asgard. There is a ship waiting for us, we'll leave through hidden passage."

Loki was pulling me through woods explaining how we'll get out of Asgard. I listened, absorbed more than just his words. Loki took the same route with Thor and Jane and I tried hard to memorise from his thoughts how exactly to find hole in the rock and get through it. I needed someone expendable, who can fly in that shit, but there is none. I didn't want Loki anywhere near Thanos, but I could only ditch him after getting out of Asgard. And that is what I did, I drained his energy and he seemed dead.

"I'm really going to miss you in death."

I knew something Loki didn't. We couldn't really escape from Thanos and neither were we actually doing it. I was a bait to lure Thanos out of Asgard, where he will meet me alone. Loki cannot know what will happen here and it is the best it stays that way for eternity. I trust him with my safety, but not with great power emerging. I am a fisherman of men, Thanos was now on my hook. He willingly came to me not knowing he is caught in the net. He was both, ugly and purple fish.

"Mortal." Purple fish spoke.

"Do you not recognize me?"

* * *

 **Happy b-day to me.**

 **Review for teaser.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

* * *

"A week passed Isabella, you should say what happened."

Could I, really? Loki thinks I am traumatized, he worries Thanos broke me, he is so wrapped up in his concerns that he forgot to be angry with me for making him lose his consciousness. I wasn't broken, my body was. Me facing Thanos left permanent marks and this time the stone didn't heal them. I was almost strangled, Thanos' grip was craved in my neck. Purple troubadour left scars on my face, he slashed my cheek from ear to lips. At the end of our encounter I was cut open.

"Thanos left."

That was one way to say it. I didn't want to lie to him, but lies were inevitable. It shouldn't matter what I say. I've been lucky to survive him that should matter. My heart beats, Thanos didn't crush it. I'm alive, breathing and enduring pain. I am what I've always been, but different, in a way upgraded. And free. I have no strings on me, no reason and no want to stay in what is left of Asgard. Life here is violent and harsh, so I cannot help but miss simplicity. There is life with people on my own.

"He left his army to die."

"He took the stone out, that is what he wanted. He doesn't care for us."

"Thanos almost had us, he could have destroyed us." Yes he could.

"Thanos wanted us all to suffer. He is not done with us yet."

"Of course he isn't." Loki agreed."He set us perfect trap." Nah, not really.

"He expected we would run."

Unlimited power of stones, who wouldn't want it? Power changes people, it is toxic. But weakness is worse, just take me as an example. Or don't. I am corruptible as finest politician and I'm not even ashamed of it. They have decent salaries as it is and then they get something on the side. If that is not a good life to have, then I have no idea what it is. Maybe queen or king live better, but we know what happened with Frigga and fate wasn't exactly gracious with Odin.

"How did he seem to you?" Wrapped in arms of death.

"Like madman."

"This madman united all stones."

Poor us and poor universe. I was so tired of hearing about it, not interested in the fate of the whole universe. I've become the worst version of myself, but I do not regret it. I am not burdened by guilt, but I don't want to make a reputation as a cold - blooded killer. What people don't know cannot hurt them. It is better to be seen as harmless than as harmful. I hate being vulnerable, but I have absolute fun playing I am completely vulnerable left at someone's mercy. I hate pity, but I am an opportunist.

"What of Asgard? What will happen now?"

"Thor will take the throne in Odin's absence."

"What did you say what you did with Odin?"

"I told him the truth. I didn't kill his father. I tried to keep Odin safe in his sleep."

"You know Odin won't return?" I made sure of it.

"We were all waiting for the day he falls asleep and never wakes up. Asgard has great protector."

"And you?"

People of Asgard saw Fallen Prince fight for them. They listened Loki's orders over Thors. It was Loki who saved them while Thor would have them run into battle they will lose. It was unfortunate how Loki would be a perfect king if it wasn't for his sins of the past. I think even Thor sees it now, how much wiser Loki is. I was kept safe by him even though I didn't trust him so maybe that was his motivation for saving me so he could prove me wrong. He stayed in Asgard even when Thanos was knocking on our doors.

"I have sentence to serve. This changes nothing."

"You know Thor won't allow it."

"He is king now, he has to do what is best for his people."

It is best for his people if he dies and someone with an actual brain takes the crown, but maybe that is just my opinion. Loki did save Asgard, but he betrayed it and fooled it. Even if his crimes were forgiven, there are still his crimes against the Earth and I don't see Fury forgiving him that easy. I don't want to see Loki rot and I know he won't because Thor is blind idiot who loves his brother dearly. If I was Jane I would worry about that kind of love, they aren't really brothers and, you know, Thor could just as well be gay.

"If he will do what is best for Asgard then you won't be the only one imprisoned."

"You think people will remember what you did to them now when you don't have the stone."

"They will, I cannot control them anymore."

"Leave then when you still can." And leave you behind?

"Heimdall will be first one stop me from leaving."

"He knows you took Odin, but does he know where you put him?"

"Impossible. I made him look away."

"Then bargain with it. Odin for peaceful life, Thor will accept."

Loki wasn't even trying to keep me close, he was letting me go. We didn't talk about it afterwards. Loki stayed with me during the night and kissed my forehead in the morning before he was taken to the dungeons. I haven't seen him since. I've listened him and did exactly how he said, with little change. As soon as I set foot on Earth, I was lost to them. I didn't give Odin to them and they couldn't find me. Years have passed since and I stayed hidden in plain sight. Unchanged by years and worry, I learnt one thing:

"Infinity doesn't age."

* * *

 **End.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's note**

Voiceless is finished and there will be no more chapters updated here.

But... I am not leaving Bella and Loki like this. This story grew bigger than I planned and the characters acted on their own. There are several questions that need to be answered as I didn't wrap the story completely. I didn't want to rush Loki and Bella together when towards the end of this story they weren't getting closer to each other, but further apart. You cannot control the stones and neither can you control Loki. I learned this as I was writing this story.

So there will be a sequel.

I don't know how it will be called and neither when it will be published. I might write few first chapter just so you get the feel of it, but most of it will probably be put on this page in July. I ask you all for patience. I'm currently in my last year of High school and there is a lot to do. I want to do my characters right and I cannot do that while stressing out about finals and if I'll be offered a place at university. I love you all and I hope you'll be here for the sequel. You will all be informed here when a new story is up.

Thank you.


	32. Chapter 32

**Dear Readers of Voiceless,**

I posted sequel to this story called Powerless so to those who are interested in it... There is only one chapter for now and I have no idea when I will post more.  
Pairing will stay Loki/Bella because that is the point of this all. I of course promise you confusion, deceit, blood, selfish lovers, daisies and guards dancing the polka.

 **Hope you enjoy the insanity in instalments,**  
 **Wicked Daphne**


End file.
